When someone we love passes away, they often leave many questions behind for the living. However, they can and do leaves signs for us. What’s even better? They also can come into our dreams to sit and speak with us, or just hold us again. This happens more than one would think. However, it’s not always easy to recall the specific conversation, to tell whether it was just a dream or actually a real visitation from a spirit.
Coffee with an Old Friend
A few years ago, I was really missing my family back home. I moved a long distance away from my kin folk for the first time in my life. At this time, I was also exploring my bloodlines. I was always told that when I felt like I needed strength to call upon my ancestors, and so I did.
That night I went to bed, as I always did, only to wake up the next morning dazed but excited. I dreamt of sitting in my kitchen, there was a full pot of coffee on the table, I could smell it. I was sitting there with a woman. She looked very much like my aunt on my father’s side who was very much so alive. I remember that she was distinctly wearing a house coat from the 70’s era. She was animated and knew so much about my family (dead and alive). I absolutely loved her!!!! We talked as if we knew each other forever.
The next morning, I woke up and still felt exhausted as if I did not sleep all night. I remembered every detail. So, I called my dad (I had a clue this was an ancestor from his side) and sure enough she was his Aunt Loretta who notoriously wore a housecoat and loved to sit, drink coffee and gossip! My father and I laughed as he confirmed who she was. I guess we know Aunt Loretta is still at it!
There are a number of factors that let me know that this was a visit vs. dream. Here are a few ways you can tell if it was a…
Visit from a Loved One or Just a Dream?
- People aren’t specific or have faceless roles. Example: The mail carrier had no specific personality or was recognizable, just a mailman.
- A jumbled-up storyline or chaotic fiction. Example: There was a talking turtle in the shower.
- You can’t remember specific details. Your mind usually requires order and has a process when remembering details, dreams tend to be symbols and lack a real set of rules. We don’t have the inhibitions that we would when our conscience mind interferes. Example: I was able to raise my arms and fly through the sky like a bird in my dream then I flew and landed on a planet.
- You wake up and feel tired or drained (doesn’t happen to everyone), like you never slept.
- You remember! You wake up and feel like they are still standing right there with you, you expect to look over and see them.
- It is so real! You can wake up and feel like you still smell them. The place where they were standing or sitting could still be warm or look to have been occupied. Things could be out of place in your room.
- You just KNOW in your heart that they were visiting you. This is something that I’ve heard many people tell me. This is a feeling and sometimes you may not remember the dream as vividly (there are many reasons for this) but you just know.
All these factors played into my visit with Aunt Loretta. The biggest one was, I just knew. Even if my father told me he had no clue who this was, I would have known she was an ancestor and was there for me when I needed a good laugh and family camaraderie.
I have listed some tips below to help you call to your loved one for a visit and how to help remember this visit. Don’t be discouraged if your loved one does not come to you immediately. Sometimes they are very new and are still learning how to work in their realm. Also, sometimes our grief and emotions are so strong it’s hard for them to communicate with us.
I have noticed in these times of such emotions when we finally do sleep, we sleep heavy because we are emotionally just drained. Remember, to not become obsessed with trying to reach out to them. They will appear when you and they are ready. These tips can hopefully push things along for you.
Tips to Help Call A Loved One for A Visit
- Make sure you are on a regular sleep schedule. Exhaustion will put you into a deep sleep.
- Keep a journal next to your bed so that you can write down your experience.
- Meditate 15 minutes before you go to bed. Focal point should be on the person that you would like to visit you. If you want to listen to 432hz (frequency) soft music while meditating, that’s even better.
- Sleep with an article of clothing and/or a picture of that person.
- Listen to a song or watch something that might have a significance to you and that person during the day and before you sleep. (ex: a movie, favorite commercial, etc.)
- When you wake up, give yourself a few minutes to process the dream, write it down. Even if it's written down in broken sentences/key words. You can go back later to make sense of it.
- Drink a glass of water before you sleep. This will wake you just after a REM cycle and is the best time to remember a dream. (Please don't try this if you have health issues).
My final message to you: Don’t be hard on yourself. Let yourself grieve naturally. That is a part of the human condition. It’s also a part of the grieving and healing processes.
Our loved ones are always there with us. They live in our memories of them and our love for them. Always remember to take care of yourself.