In the world in which we live, we tend to function on our feelings and emotions, trust rather than questioning what flows in and out. Have we not all made assumptions, thinking we know, feel, or believe that something will happen no matter what the energy is around it?
Whether this is in relationships, a business, or our own spiritual growth, have you tried to force something that had no way of moving forward? Have you made assumptions based on reading someone else and who you think they are? Have you made assumptions based on your perception of the current energy, emotions, and feelings you experience? We typically see these not as assumptions but rather as our "truth" created from external experiences. This process starts in our childhood, creating patterns and pathways we take on as adults. Using The Four Agreements book by Don Miguel Ruiz as our starting point, let's focus on the third Agreement - "Don't Make Assumptions." For more on the other Four Agreements, click the link at the bottom of the article.
The Four Agreements #3 - Don't Make Assumptions
We do not always take the time to discern the truth about information coming in. We tend to assume truths without a valid foundation. Hence when we make assumptions, we're willing to fight for them. This is because we link our assumptions to our past experiences. My mother always used to say “ find the truth; you cannot make assumptions.” I had to learn not to assume but to find the root before I trust what comes in. When we allow our thoughts and feelings to run wild, they become our truth.
There is a big difference between the energy of truth and the energy of assumptions. The effects on our emotions and feelings carry weight, which often affects us negatively. I have seen this many times with clients - how they will fight for what they believe is the truth. Rather than dismiss the assumptions, I've learned to recognize that for the person making them, they are very real due to all the feelings attached to them.
We are all on different paths and we grow in accordance with our soul path.
How to See Assumptions
When we answer these questions, we can distinguish between the truth and the assumptions we make.
- Is what I see or feel internal or external?
- Do these assumptions come from my past?
- Do these assumptions feel attached to feelings or emotions?
- What does this assumption trigger?
- Does this assumption have a foundation?
- Do my assumptions carry any weight?
- How do my assumptions make me feel?
- Are my assumptions based on truth or another assumption?
These questions allow us to realize what our assumptions mean to us. This in turn allows us to pinpoint how our thoughts, feelings, and emotions manifest and if they carry a false weight with no foundation of truth.
Memories of our past affect our future. I often see with clients (and through my own life) that assumptions are related to memories and past experiences. This is why they carry weight and feel so real.
Our programming teaches us that what we had in the past will be the same for the future. When assumptions come in, we tend to go on the feeling and categorize them in our minds based on our past experiences. The energy feels familiar. Trauma can also create assumptions about what to expect in the future.
The programming of our childhoods laid the foundation of who we are today. As children, we continually accept the energy of our stored experiences, and our assumptions become part of our being. This becomes a cycle that goes hand in hand with the human psyche.
Assumptions in Relationships
We often make assumptions regarding stability and security in a relationship, whether it is long-term or short-term and what our partner wants for the future. This is why clarity is so important right from the beginning as assumptions lead us down a path of empty promises. We cannot assume what others feel or want. In relationships, any foundation cannot be built on assumptions but only clarity, clear communication, and truth.
Positives About Assumptions
- Some teachings about faith, religion, spirituality, etc. are based on assumptions, and some are led back to a scientific point of view; it is your choice to accept your beliefs as truth.
- We create our own future: The law of attraction is based on assumptions that we will receive what we want and wish for.
- Assumptions can change the outcome when used in a way to manifest or change past programming.
- Assumptions can help you grow on a spiritual and energetic level.
Negatives About Assumptions
- By believing something is real which has no foundation or truth to it, we may become unable to distinguish between reality and fiction.
- We create situations based on what we feel. Making assumptions creates scattered energy that manifests what we don't want.
- Making assumptions affects our minds, feelings, and emotions. This can create a downward spiral when our views are not accepted or acknowledged.
- Making assumptions creates inner turmoil as to what is true and what is not. It can cause us to question our own reality.
- It can create negative feelings as we feel rejected, misunderstood, and that others will not accept us.
- It may affect relationships in a negative way – when our partners do not understand or believe in us.
- It can affect our career when we assume a boss or senior person does not like us or has negative feelings towards us.
- We tend to feel lost and alone or avoid dealing with things that later may cause chaos.
Healing from Assumptions and the Energy They Create
To heal we need to learn to examine if we what assume is real. We tend to want to believe we are right. To heal the past, meditation is a wonderful tool. Please enjoy the mediation below inspired by The Four Agreements and use it when you need to clear your mind and ground your energy.
Follow on and Healing – A Meditation about Assumptions
Allow yourself to find a beautiful calming space within your home for you to unwind and relax. Find yourself in a comfortable position so that your body relaxes, close your eyes, and allow your mind to calm down.
Allow your last thoughts to come in and then gently see how you move them to the side and just start to focus on your own energy and breathing within.
As you take in a deep breath, allow your body to relax and see how that air moves down into your feet, and as you breathe out release all the tension in your feet. Take in another deep breath and see how the air moves down into your ankles, calves, and knees and as you breathe out, release all the tension in this area.
As you take in another deep breath in, see how the air moves down into your thighs, hips, and lower abdomen, and then breathe out all tension in this area of your body.
As you take in another deep breath in, allow the air to move down into your middle abdomen, your chest, arms, and fingers, and as you breathe out release all the tension in these areas of your body.
As you take in another deep breath in, gently allow yourself to breathe into your neck, your face, and head, and let go of any tensions as you breathe out.
Just allow yourself to feel calm and relaxed and to feel an inner calmness within yourself of letting go of the day’s energy and of the past.
Gently as you are lying down, I want you to imagine and focus on your heart chakra where a beautiful green light emerges and becomes stronger all around you and creates a deep feeling of calmness and healing. As you focus on your heart you feel so calm and relaxed and you feel this gentle energy moving through your body, healing and embracing every part of your being.
As you move to the center of the heart, you see a beautiful door opening with your name on it, and as you enter you see there are 10 steps down. Allow yourself to trust the experience and your own path within. As you walk down these steps you feel yourself becoming more relaxed, trusting, and allowing.
You move from the 10th to the 9th to the 8th to the 7th to the 6th step and you feel so relaxed so calm and so at peace. Now you move to the 5th, 4th, 3rd, 2nd and 1st step, and in front of you another door opens. Find yourself walking onto a beautiful beach and you feel so at peace, the sand between your feet and the wind in your hair, you see and hear the ocean from all directions.
As you move closer to the water you hear the waves and feel the water gushing against your body, you feel the sun on your skin and can hear the seagulls in the distance. Your feet feel grounded in the sand that you feel between your toes, and you feel so at peace.
As you walk forward into the water, the water splashes over your body and you feel a cleansing and clearing of the saltwater, and you submerge yourself and realize you can breathe and see under the water.
As your eyes open you realize you can see all the beauty of the ocean and all its creation. As you swim deeper, find yourself moving towards a bright red coral. When you touch it, a deep-water cave opens, and you find yourself swimming into a magical crystal cave.
As you emerge out of the water inside the crystal cave you see and feel that you are surrounded by crystals with colors beyond this world and you feel the healing powers touch and heal your whole being from head to toe.
You allow your mind, soul, and body to be opened, to heal the past, present and future. Allow these magnificent crystals to remove your past thoughts, pain, trauma, and deep-rooted feelings to be cleared and released.
See how the crystals remove your past thoughts, your past experiences, and assumptions that became a reality that did not serve you. Gently just allow them to be cleared and released.
You feel lighter in your body and your energetic auric field. There is a lightness that has come in to love and support you. As you release and let go, you see that these magnificent crystals now replace all they have taken away and replaced it with love, peace, and harmony.
You feel as light as a feather. As you thank the crystals you just allow yourself to be. You feel healed, at peace, and calm. Just take some time to allow yourself just to be…
Thank these beautiful crystals for their healing and see how you are now not only calm but aligned and supported within your being. As the crystal cave opens you swim back into the ocean, observe the beauty and emerge from the ocean onto the beach. The sun feels warm, and you feel alive, renewed, and rejuvenated.
Thanking this beautiful experience, you find your path back to the door you have entered, and you find yourself standing at the bottom of the stairs.
Looking back, you know you can return at any time, this is your little gem within yourself.
As you start walking up the stairs you start to feel more energized ready for a new day, a new journey, a new beginning. You move from the 1st to the 2nd to the 3rd to the 4th to the 5th step and you feel so alive. Then you move from the 6th to the 7th to the 8th to the 9th step and find yourself at the top of the stairs and our door of your heart opens and you find yourself back into your physical body.
Your mind is calm and as you take in a deep breath, you see how this newfound energy moves down into your feet, it becomes grounded, and you feel like a whole new person with so much love and light.
When you are ready, take a deep breath in and feel the calmness, peace, and ease that you take with you from this day forward. Enjoy this blessing and always return when you feel you need to be restored or your energy feels low.