Stop Fixing Others and Let Them Grow

Date 6/8/2023
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Trying too hard to fix others may prevent them from growing their own wings and learning to fly.

Trying too hard to fix others may prevent them from growing their own wings and learning to fly.

Do you have a habit of "helping out" even when your assistance wasn't requested? You may feel like you're being generous with your time and effort when you're really getting in the way of another's opportunity to grow. Learn when fixing a problem can actually create one and how to step back and let others learn necessary lessons on their own.

The Parable of the Butterfly

There's an old parable that tells of a child who watched a butterfly emerge from its cocoon. The butterfly struggled for hours to get out of the cocoon, and when it emerged, it sat exhausted. The creature had to regain its strength before it could fly away.

Spotting a second cocoon that was starting to move, the boy decided to help. He slit the cocoon open to save the butterfly the trouble, but this one emerged limp and lived only a short time before it died.

Alarmed, the boy asked his grandmother what happened. She explained that the process of struggling through the cocoon forced blood into the butterfly's wings, which is essential for it to survive. Without this struggle, the butterfly remains weak and cannot survive.

The Hazards of Helping

If you have an empathic or nurturing personality, you will likely find it easy to get drawn into others' struggles. While your intentions are honorable, trying to fix others' problems can:

  • Cause them to resent you for your unwelcome involvement.
  • Result in you pushing the individual toward an action that isn't right for them.
  • Rob that individual of the opportunity to learn.
  • Create frustration for yourself when the other person doesn't respond the way you think they should.

Remember that some mental health disorders, like severe anxiety or depression, require professional support. You can offer support, but you can't "fix" it. 

Letting Them Grow

Though it's hard to watch others go through difficult periods, it's important to understand that these experiences are crucial for their personal growth. If witnessing your friend or family member's struggle is having an adverse effect on you, step back and focus on what you can do for yourself during this time. Scheduling a psychic phone chat or online reading may give you some insights into how you can protect your own mental and emotional health in these situations.

When to Assist

While it's important not to overstep your bounds and try to fix others, there are things that you can do to gently assist them during trying times. This includes:

  • Praying with or for the person.
  • Offering to listen if the person needs to muse over their options aloud.
  • Remaining open to requests for assistance without making your own suggestions.

If you're having trouble spotting the places where you try too hard to help, consider getting a tarot reading or speaking to an intuitive psychic for valuable insights that come from an outside viewpoint.


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