When a relationship ends, is it truly over?
Love Cannot be Easily Erased
Those circumstances are also associated with our present situation. When we are sad, lonely or just feeling we have lost ourselves, it is natural to look for an alternative situation. And one of the first places to do so is our past, and especially in our relationships with those people with whom we were in love. Our memories are one form of our imagination, and we can rapidly move from one place to another and from one time to another, dwelling more upon positive experiences we want to re-experience, or negative experiences we cannot escape.
The wish to be back with the lover is not activated merely because our current situation is desperate, but also by the memory of a passionate love. Sometimes loneliness makes the loudest noise; at other times, profound love provides louder and deeper music. It is quite natural to yearn for a past lover, particularly if the original relationship was reciprocal and fulfilling.
If we idealize our past romance even as we remember the negative parting, the conflict between these two ways of remembering the past can confuse us about the prospects of a romantic reunion. As someone said, "Some exes don't get the picture that they will never be back in the picture."
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
There are some noticeable exceptions to the above gloomy prognosis for reunions. If the parting was due not to lack of love but to unfavorable external circumstances, such as when the two lovers were married to other people, or there were difficulties at work or in raising the children, should new circumstances arise that do not include the previous difficulties, the earlier love can be rekindled and a successful reunion might take place.
The following slogan on a T-Shirt sums this up: "I Feel Much Better Since I Gave Up Hope." Our dreams about ex-lovers are not characterized by a sense of tranquility but rather we are searching for peace of mind. Peace of mind in turn provides us with a way to move on. Moving on is how we remain intact.
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