Love makes a fool of us all with the sweetness of roses from days gone by. Especially when we wonder any of the following…
Has my ex settled down?
Are they happier now?
Do they ever think of me?
Do they know I still love them and wish them the best?
I still think of them, feel them, and am dying to know if this is all me or if for them it really isn’t over just yet?
Tarot as a divination tool is built for these types of quandaries!
Ex-Lover Tarot Spreads
Below are detailed two-card, three-card, and four-card ex tarot spreads. They have all proven to be helpful when one is wanting a past love Tarot spread, a lover reconciliation Tarot reading, a post break-up Tarot reading, a will my ex return Tarot reading, or any ex-lover Tarot reading that involves an ex and having unfinished business with them.
Recon Tarot Spread
The first ex-lover Tarot spread I would like to share with you is a basic three card spread. I consider this one predictive more than consultative. Quick and dirty, like a spot-check or reconnaissance. I call it the Recon Spread.
Card Number 1: What is my ex focused on and what is going on in his or her life right now? This card will answer an area that is really none of your business. But it helps to ask this question anyway; that is, a little effort to satisfy curiosity is very soothing, helps take the edge off any feeling that you have been shut out or perhaps don’t matter anymore. You will likely learn that they sorely miss you.
Card Number 2: Can he or she feel it when I send them my love and best thoughts and wishes for them? Come on. You know you do this. You wish for them the best, and you also know this action of wishing the best for them erases resentment within you, which is going to be really helpful when you are talking again. This card will also show you the type of circumstance, environment or company that helps them tune into you and sense you the most.
Card Number 3: What does getting back together look like for us? Yes. This question is riding on the assumptive sell of getting back together with your ex lover. And I want you to approach it this way for a reason. The Universe does not know whether the vibration that you are offering is because of something you’re observing or something you’re remembering or something that you are imagining. It just receives the vibration/signal and answers it with things that match it. Hence, the above question-attitude and adjoining card will give you a really clean read on being back together and help you offer a loud-and-clear signal of being back together.
Estranged Lover Tarot Spread
The next spread I would like to share is pretty close to the archetypal ex-lover Tarot spread you were probably imagining when you started reading this article. And as the title above gives away, I call this the Estranged Lover Tarot Spread. The prefix “ex” has often sounded cold and impersonal to me, so in this case I prefer the word estranged.
Card Number 1: Their thoughts about me? This is flat-out and clean, what are your ex-lover’s thoughts about you?
Card Number 2: Their feelings about me? The card in this placement reveals your estranged partner’s feelings about you. Not their feelings about how things went, but their feelings about you. This card will likely answer a couple other unknowns: are their feelings positive, mixed? Or are their feelings being hindered? Are they fantasy thoughts or pragmatic?
Card Number 3: What has my estranged partner been working on? What have they been developing and improving? This will prepare you for seeing and learning of their positive changes when you communicate next instead of zeroing in on what has stayed the same. Rest assured, when you two see each other again they will want you to notice their improvements right away, and vice versa.
Card Number 4: What can I work on that will be beneficial should we decide to have a rematch? This will help you feel hope and positivity while keeping you focused on the one thing you have control of… You! And this fourth and final placement will also help you become aware of any insight into the likelihood and possible characteristics/circumstances of a reconnection or renewed spark.
The Inspiration Tarot Spread
This spread is important to help put yourself in the right frame of mind. Often the challenges of moving on (or not) from an ex-lover can cause a variety of thoughts that keep you up at night and unable to focus on much else. The Inspiration Tarot Spread will help center and balance you as you prepare to move ahead.
Card Number 1: What can I do, believe, feel, and focus upon (accept) to resonate more closely with my ex (even while we are not together)? Okay. This card is important, more so than others. This will help you stay focused on what you can control: your attitude and where your attention is aimed.
Card Number 2: What can I release or heal to really make room for my next relationship, whether it is with my ex or not? More often than not, this card will simply be an affirmation of what you have cleared out or are about to clear out so there is the utmost room for the next relationship, an ex-lover or not.
Card Number 3: What can I appreciate about myself right now to really expedite reconnecting and (hopefully) reconciling? You can guess the significance of this card, “I miss my past love, and I want to expedite trying again.” This card is asked from a platform of looking forward, not fixing past mishaps. You are not the same person you were when you and the ex were on. Appreciation makes things bigger and appreciating what is good now will expand what’s good now.
Guardrails – Three Questions NOT to Ask the Tarot about an Ex
Guardrails are merely things I suggest you stay away from, do not ask, and do not spend any time on while divining with Tarot about reconciling with an ex. I suggest being sensitive to these guardrails while conducting any kind of ex-lover Tarot spread or “bring my lover back” Tarot reading.
- Has my ex been physically romantic with anyone else? Do not ask this question. The reason you don’t want to ask this question is that it is a trap. Like asking someone about an outfit you are wearing by asking, “Do I look fat I this?” If they say no, you will suspect they are telling you what you want to hear to be polite. If they say yes, you will want to poke their eyeballs out with a pencil (please do not actually do this.) Additionally, the question is not really any of your business, and it involves nothing that you can control--therefore, it is really just you trying to scare yourself or you being tough on yourself.
- What can I do to make my ex-lover love me again and want to be with me again? We do not want to force or “make” anybody feel or do anything. Nary is the happy ending for bullies. You do, however, have an unlimited ability to inspire. And because you come from a Source/Creator of inexhaustible love, you have inexhaustible love with which to share and inspire.
My suggestion when you start feeling the urge to ask the question above, or a derivative of it, is to pivot yourself back around to your platform of power. You can do this by asking something like “What can I do to more effectively share the love that is inside of me?” I know this sounds a bit Pollyanna and not realistic. But the truth is, when you start pouring out the love, and you are stretching and getting creative to pump out more love, unless your exes have left the psychical plane, they will come nosing around and wanting to see why you are glowing and radiating. They will want to know you act like you have won the Lotto.
- What can I work on or what can I change about myself to have another chance with my ex-lover? This is not a healthy question to ask unless you want to beat your head against the proverbial wall.
And equally unhealthy is the question, “What can I do to raise my vibration and bring my lover back?” Personally and professionally, I have embraced these two questions a myriad number of times. And I have been a fool. Why? You do not have to work at being in the high vibration that is natural to you. The high vibration you seek is natural to you. But you do have to stop holding the thoughts that cause you to lower your vibration. It’s a matter of no longer giving your attention to things that don’t allow or help you feel the feelings of your wish fulfilled. A more appropriate question to ask is “How can I more effectively be aware of the majesty of being me?” Which leads me to the last spread I wish to share with you.
The Forgiveness Tarot Spread
Since I was in my formative years this past love Tarot spread has trumped all spreads that have anything to do with reconciling with a past lover. This Tarot spread really helps speed up reconciliation, and helps you transform any poison into medicine. Up until about twenty years ago this spread was known as the “Get My Ex Back” spread. Simply place two cards down to answer the following two questions:
- What aspect of my relationship history can I forgive right now?
- What aspect of my past love’s relationship history can I forgive right now?
Each card will give you a target to apply forgiveness to, the most poignant forgiveness you can muster. Bring up the feeling of forgiveness and follow forgiveness to the higher fringes of forgiveness, and you will find acceptance. Follow acceptance to the higher levels of acceptance, and you begin to see understanding. Understanding reaches into appreciation. Deep into appreciation the flow melds into the realm of love. True Love. Not just love of the Creator, but love for others that is clear enough that we see them as different versions of our own self. This spread will speed-up talking, cooperating, and loving again. And you will feel melded together.
“If someone loves you, and they keep hurting you, or ignoring you, then they never loved you. If two past lovers can stay friends, they are either still in love or never were.” These are generalities. Platitudes. Axioms do not work so well as they don’t apply to everyone or every relationship. Each relationship is different and unique. I suggest staying clear of generalities when trying to interpret an ex-relationship. But the above ex-lover Tarot spreads can give you symbols, emblems, and allegory that is specific to you and your situation. And when in doubt, reach out to one of the gifted Tarot readers at Psychic Source to help you with embracing an ex-love relationship.