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Avoiding Toxic Twin Flames: Spotting Warning Signs by Psychic Holly

Date 7/17/2023
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What does a healthy positive love dynamic, twin flame relationship look like? First let me explain what a twin flame relationship is. It only occurs when both members are ready to share unconditional love and support for one another, they've done the shadow work, released the trauma, dealt with the inner child wounds, and healed. It's when both members are ready for the intensity that comes with the twin flame connection, therefore it can be a passionate and healthy relationship. This dynamic will bring out the best in each other and challenge both partners to continue to grow and catapult forward to become the best "YOU" version on Earth.

Many new age groups have discussed this as an intense romantic connection, one like you've never experienced, that is pretty sensational to sell books, conferences, and workshops. But the reality is for soul growth to come together for raising the vibration and to be of service for the planet, it can even be platonic! Twin flames are not peaceful connections, they are determined to force your growth, no matter what.

What is the Purpose of a Twin Flame?

A twin flame's purpose is to reveal to you the areas in which you need to grow. This often means taking a hard look at your flaws, insecurities, and terrible habits and behaviors and deciding to work on them. This acts like a giant mirror where all your worst traits are reflected back at you. You may feel defensive or even resentful towards this person at times because you can't stand being forced to face the inner issues and responses where you see your struggles demonstrated by another person.

This is a well thought out plan from the universe for soul growth as your soul resonance is the same frequency. The truth is a twin flame isn't necessarily meant to show up and serve you as your happily ever after. They show up in your life to help you grow… period! There are many phases to this dynamic from harmony, to chaos, to a chaser/runner dynamic. You may find that it goes from separation to reunification for a brief honeymoon phase, only to repel once more to dive deeper within one's own consciousness. When allowed to become toxic, the abyss is painful, abusive, and agonizing.

True Love

How Do You Find Your One True Love?

How does one find the one…  their soul lover, aka their true love? You first have to fall in love with YOURSELF! Spend quality time treating yourself as you would your beloved. Being kind, caring, thoughtful, compassionate, and supportive in all ways, only until you've mastered "YOU" Only then will the life partner you've been searching for manifest. This may include any or all of the following: daily meditations, visualizations, automatic writing, somatic breath work, cognitive behavioral therapy, releasing and forgiving yourself and others, letting go of the drama, trauma, inner child issues, collaborating with a healer, and cord cutting from past lovers. Always take time to love yourself, recognize your worth and desirability and hold yourself accountable by doing the inner work! Take time every day to honor you. It could be anything from enjoying a relaxing bath, taking a calming nature walk, curling up with that book you've been wanting to read, etc., as long as you take care of you! 

From a metaphysical standpoint, you can create a vision board and write out a simple list of the qualities you wish in your life mate. Remember like energy attracts like energy, so vibrate high, keep your energy clean, smudge, meditate, dance, and do the things that bring you joy that you love to do! This will create your resonance and raise your frequency allowing you to manifest your person with love and intention. Be aware of your boundaries, triggers, and wounds. As you fall in love with your life, hobbies, goals, dreams, and aspirations, magnificent magical events and people will show up because you’re in alignment. You are co-creating with the divine source at all times with your thoughts, feelings, and emotions so be intentional, deliberate, and focused then release it to the creator!

Toxic Twin Flame Connection 

What is a Toxic Twin Flame Connection?

A toxic twin flame connection is feeling that intense connection and chemistry with our inner wounded child going through codependent behaviors and toxic dynamics such as verbal, emotional, physical, and spiritual abuse. But you are saying it is all in the name of love and “they are my twin and I love them.” Having many past lives and played out experiences, this will be a very tough dynamic to pull away from but with self-love and care you can overcome this type of unhealthy relationship. It's familiar so you have to retrain your brain to not be addicted to this vibration and repeat these toxic patterns. Recognize the signs and be strong enough to know how to walk away!

Why do we put up with the toxic relationship? Because you haven't taken heed of the early warning signs. It feels familiar and safe either from childhood trauma or previous toxic love relationships and you get too wrapped up in the romantic ideation of "the one" ignoring all the red flags! It's a reflection you're not healthy and still have work to do on yourself. Healing, self-growth, self-respect, and self-love are all important. Setting boundaries and learning the word "NO" is vital.

Toxic Twin Flame Warning Signs

Toxic Twin Flame Warning Signs to Look Out For

  • Manipulative Behavior
  • Controlling
  • Codependency
  • Wounded Inner Child Issues
  • Addictions
  • Verbal, Emotional, or Physical Abuse
  • Narcissistic Behaviors 

We let bad behavior slide, you don't stand up for yourself or set boundaries early on. Hence, you think you can somehow save them, heal them, love them unconditionally. However, it costs you your inner peace, self-respect, and dignity. It also causes cognitive dissonance, this betrayal of the self, tolerating the abuse, and lulling yourself into a false reality that it is love. But no, this is NOT love. This is what a toxic love relationship or a toxic twin feels like; something is off, but you just can't put your finger on it! Even though you may not be able to determine what is bothering you, it could make you feel uncomfortable when you are around them. Furthermore, they might cause you to feel bad about yourself. Many will simply apply the twin flame label to their dysfunctional toxic relationship.

Having to overcome your insecurities and fears while being brought face to face with them is an overwhelming thing, often feeling like too much to handle together. Keep in mind your twin flame is also dealing with this exact situation, as you're also reflecting the worst qualities back at them. While some twin flames enjoy periods of time together, it's not without conflict, tension, and an immense amount of patience. For some twin flames, separations can last for years, even decades, so this is not for the faint of heart! They believe the twin flame relationship will fix their loneliness and give them the partner of their dreams, instead of focusing on becoming a better partner themselves. Trust your intuition always! This is why it's vital to have alone time, such as time in nature to connect with your higher self and your inner voice and to align with your authentic self. One can only do this by spending quality time with one’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions and connecting with the divine high heart.

Does this mean twin flame relationships are automatically toxic? Not at all. Twin flames aren't meant to give people an "exciting" romance, and if that's the reason you are seeking one, then trust me when I tell you that this is not what you are looking for. This is the brutal truth about twin flames that no one tells you about so I'm sharing!

I also have my own little tale to tell. After many years married and then getting divorced, I met a European gentleman overseas sweeping me off my feet. He was very romantic… a poet, deeply spiritual, a teacher, healer, my twin flame, a connection like no other! Someone that I fell in love with the projection of self, not the real individual but who I fantasized about not recognizing the real wounded soul that was not good for me... period. Our telepathy was mind blowing. I could feel him and sense him even while in separation for a year. He was mirroring my life at the time in many ways from how we looked alike, similar events in our lives, our painful upbringings, our relationships, likes, dislikes etc. It was such an intoxicating euphoric experience, but not without its neglectful abuse, mental, and emotional and rejection and in the end, this was six long painful years of what I now know to be my false twin flame or my toxic twin flame.

My lessons were to learn self-love, heal the inner child, set healthy boundaries, and know what a treasure I am (which I now know). What a crazy addictive roller coaster of emotions, a dopamine junkies dream, they will be everything you want at first but when the mask falls off, ohhh my god, run away. It can destroy you if you let it, especially if they are narcissistic in addition to being a false twin flame. I'm grateful for the lesson. In retrospect, it was difficult to walk away, knowing that they were in denial and couldn't see the wounds of their inner child that they still needed to heal. It was painful to experience. My advice is to engage in a twin flame relationship only if you have already done the necessary inner work and are prepared for the humanitarian work that comes with it. It may not be romantic, but the connection will be sacred like no other experience, that's for sure.

Reasons Why You Attract Toxic People

8 Reasons Why You Attract Toxic People

  • You have a beautiful heart.
  • You are a great attentive listener.
  • You are incredibly generous with your time and energy.
  • You are an empath, who loves to help people.
  • You are a builder.
  • You want the best for people.
  • You are open and honest with your dreams and goals.
  • You are too trusting. 

10 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

  • It is draining and depressing.
  • It’s all about them.
  • Not supportive.
  • Lack of trust and communication. 
  • Constant negative energy.
  • All take and no give.
  • Mutual avoidance.
  • Excessive jealousy.
  • Brings the worst out of you.
  • Continuous disrespect. 

In conclusion, I would advise one to study, meditate, and know thyself then free will. The most important relationship you're ever going to have is with yourself, so be kind to you, make friends with yourself, and watch magnificent things in your life appear as you are in alignment. Transform your life for the better!

Growth is the name of the game, understanding that learning some of these lessons can be challenging. Choose a twin flame, soulmate, or even fly solo, the choice is yours, but nonetheless the love starts with you. Go fall in love and ask your higher self for guidance and direction. You're always given choices, so choose wisely!

Many of the Psychic Source advisors can guide you through this tumultuous relationship. I can be reached at x9605.


Author's Photo Get a Reading with Holly x9605

Holly has studied with some of the best spiritual teachers from Stuart Wilde to Ester Hicks! She has been a meditator since she was five, she has learned many modalities from reiki to medical intuitive, remote viewing to animal communication. Holly has travelled the world conducting spiritual retreats to Peru, Egypt, Europe, and in the United States. Her talents include being a professional psychic over 31 years to an accomplished artist, designer, and poet.


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