Sibling Rivalries: How to Break an Unhealthy Cycle

Published Date 8/21/2014
Category: Love, Relationships & Family

Sibling rivalry knows no age.

Sibling rivalry is an unfortunate but wholly natural phenomenon that likely occurs for everyone with a brother or sister at some point in life. Competition between siblings is seemingly older than time, but even though it's natural it's still both painful and unnecessary. Put old hurts to bed, and do what you can to make up with your siblings, because your brothers and sisters share your history and your memories.

Realize It's Not a Competition

Sibling rivalry quickly turns into a cycle, especially if it's not nipped in the bud during childhood. Older children resent younger children, especially if the younger sibling is more successful. Twins fight to come out on top. Two boys will battle it out to achieve favored son status. As you can see, competition is usually at the root of the problem.

You are not in competition with your sibling. You're two different people who excel at different things. Don't try to become the favored child, because your parents shouldn't have a favorite anyway. Be the best person you can, and let your sibling do the same.

Respect Individuality

In that same vein, respect your sibling as an individual. Again, you're two different people. You have different strengths and weaknesses, not to mention different lives. If you're having a hard time respecting that boundary, you should really have a psychic chat. Your psychic can help you understand why you view your sibling as competition, and why you can't separate your lives.

Agree to Disagree

What's the cause of your main rivalry? It's not always about competition, just commonly. You may simply have different viewpoints as adults. That's difficult to deal with, simply because as children growing up with the same rules, it's easier to share opinions. Now that you're older, you may sense friction between you, which leads to a tendency to argue. That's understandable, but not worth it. Agree to disagree on the big issues, and focus on your relationship instead.

Draw on Shared Memories

You may find that hard, especially if you aren't sure how to become friends with your adult sibling. It may help you to remember your lives together. You two share your history. Draw on those memories if you need to remember what you have in common. Recall the time your brother stood up for you when the neighborhood kids bullied you. Remember when your sister gave you her ice cream cone after you dropped yours. Think about birthdays, vacations, tragedies, and triumphs.

Avoid Abusive Behavior

The way you fought as children can come back to you as adults, but you have to watch that. Never treat your sibling badly, emotionally or physically, just because you're related—and don't let your sibling treat you badly, either. If you find that you still feel the anger you experienced as a child, schedule a live psychic reading. Get in touch with your anger and talk about different things you can do to reach out to your sibling.

The relationship you have with your sibling is essential, and it should ideally be fulfilling and loving. How long has it been since you really sat down and talked with your brother or sister?


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BLDION: This is a very simplified look at a problem. Children of narcissists are programed from birth to be 'divided and conquered'. It is in the parents' best interest to have their children at odds with each other. A mother with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a horror to deal with. SO my older sister is not going to change no matter what. It is in her best interests to maintain power and control as the "Golden Child". I did have a fairly good talk with her not long ago, though. So maybe part of what you are telling us CAN be true...but not for all.

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