You cheated on your husband/wife and haven’t told him/her. You’ve broken it off with the other person. You know what you did was wrong and you feel guilty and awful.
You don’t even know why you did it. Your husband/wife is a wonderful person and has been nothing but devoted to you. You're afraid that if you tell your spouse, your marriage will be destroyed and this confession will create even bigger problems. What should you do? Should you just act as if nothing happened? This whole affair and what you did is eating you up inside!
The question you keep on asking yourself is "WHY? WHY did I do this?? I so regret it!" Does this whole situation sound like you?
There has to be a reason. Figuring out why you cheated is the first step. Both men and women cheat. Cheating is not a gender thing. I can tell you this… the relationship was not balanced; you were not feeling safe and secure, your emotional needs were not being met or there was just not enough passion and spontaneity. Intimacy, not necessarily sexual, is usually to blame. The connection between you and your spouse had weakened. You felt that special bond had been broken.
Once you've sorted out your feelings and realized the reasons this happened you can start to rebuild the relationship. Fix what it is that caused you to cheat in the first place. Strengthen the bond between the two of you. Sometimes it's only necessary to suggest changes to get the relationship back on track. A confession is not always the answer.
Many times you can make some changes in the way you respond to your husband/wife and the relationship will improve. Remember what you fell in love with about your mate in the first place. Situations change which causes love to change. This doesn't mean the love is not as strong as it once was.
I always suggest a short weekend get-away to initiate the bonding process.
Please, do forgive yourself. Forgiveness is necessary for healing and growth. Consider this a new beginning for your relationship. Many people would feel uncomfortable sharing this with those that they know. I can help. Love relationships are my specialty. I will be unbiased and nonjudgmental. We can work through this together. Together we will make this relationship even better than before!