Online Dating Also Has Its Dark Side

Published Date 7/11/2020
Category: Love, Relationships & Family

Online dating makes meeting people easier than ever, but you have to be on the lookout for red flags.

Online dating makes meeting people easier than ever, but you have to be on the lookout for red flags.

In theory, online dating seems like the ideal way to meet and assess potential partners. You're given a few photos and a bio to peruse to see if the person is a potential match without the hassle of trying to talk in a crowded, dark bar or the discomfort of approaching a stranger in the grocery store. In practice, however, online dating opens the door to a host of potential problems you might not face in traditional dating.

The Realities of Online Dating

See a cute picture, read a nice bio, send a message, and boom, you have a date! If only it were that easy. The truth is, online dating makes it simpler than ever for your partner to mislead you. When you communicate through an app or by texting, you miss out on reading verbal and body language cues that help identify dishonesty or disinterest.

How To Navigate the Online Dating World

With this in mind, it's important to enter the world of online dating with specific expectations. Know that the person you're messaging with is probably also messaging other people. Meet in person or talk on the phone as much as possible once you've established that there's a spark. Use your intuition to guide you and consider contacting an online psychic if you need more help.

What To Do If You Like Someone

Found someone you're interested in online? That's great! It might tempt you to play it cool and continue casual texting or messaging through social media. You can do that, but know that your partner might not think you're serious about them. Set up an in-person meeting to show you're genuine about moving forward with them IRL (in real life) rather than just online.

When New Behaviors Are Red Flags

When dating online, you must be vigilant. Any change in behavior could signal a change in feelings from your partner or a sign of possible infidelity. Watch specifically for these behaviors:


Ghosting is when your partner just disappears — no more texts, no more pictures, and no more phone calls. Your calls and messages go unanswered with no explanation. Ghosting is one of the worst ways a person can break up with you since you get no answers as to what went wrong.


When your calls and texts get responses days or weeks later, your partner has iced you. They're playing it cool by not totally disappearing on you, but also not actually being a present part of your life. Icing is the coward's way out. Rather than having an adult conversation ending the relationship, icers keep you hanging on in the hopes that you'll end the relationship instead.


When you simmer, you're on the back burner. Your partner is keeping you on the side as a backup plan while they explore other options. They'll check in regularly but rarely make specific plans with you. It's best to be upfront in this situation. Let them know you're not interested in being anyone's backup plan, and if they're not willing to be with you fully, then you're not interested in being with them at all.


Your relationship has ended. You're no longer texting or talking to your partner. But they're still liking your posts on social media and following you online. They're orbiting you. Orbiting makes it really hard to move forward when you're constantly seeing your ex's name on your social media profiles. This one is tricky. Unfortunately, you can't control the actions of others, so your choices are to ignore the behavior, block them, or change your social media settings to private.


Micro-cheating is one of the most serious forms of deceit. Micro-cheating walks the line between fidelity and infidelity through texting or talking to another party with romantic intentions. The best way to avoid micro-cheating is to establish clear boundaries for your relationship. Let your partner know what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with, ensuring they don't inadvertently cross any lines.

What To Do If It Happens to You

Things are going great, and then all of sudden — poof! No more responses from your partner. If you fear your partner has ghosted, iced, simmered, or subjected you to any other number of online dating disappearing acts, take the power back. Decide whether the relationship is worth saving. More than likely, if they're unresponsive, even if you really like them, you're better off cutting ties. Then, send a message saying you enjoyed your time with them, but you've decided it's time to move on. That way, the power is back in your hands and you can find someone new.

Everyone Lies

Approach online dating with this mantra: Everyone lies. Protect yourself by staying alert when you begin a new online relationship. Look for inconsistencies during conversations and for behaviors that point to one of the dating red flags previously mentioned.

Look for the Dark Side

Get deep with your partner early on. Learn about their past and get to know them to see if they're likely to ghost, simmer, or orbit you in the future. You can also determine if your partner is the right fit with a phone psychic reading.

How To Break Up Online

Many of us have been on the receiving end of ghosting, orbiting, or simmering — it's no fun. If you're ready to break up with an online partner, do so directly and respectfully. You'll feel better knowing you did the right thing, and they'll feel better knowing it's time to pursue other relationships.

There Are Better Ways To Break Up

Now, if you've dated the person more seriously and spend time offline together, do them the courtesy of an in-person breakup. This shows maturity on your part and ensures you both get the closure you need.

Online dating makes it simple to meet a bevy of potential partners. It's easy to communicate with lots of different people to find the ideal partner. However, the text-based nature of online relationships makes it easy to fall into traps like ghosting, orbiting, and icing. Keep an open mind, but stay vigilant as you traverse the online dating world.

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