Moving Forward Towards a Commitment in a Relationship Podcast by Psychic Hope
Published Date 2/13/2023
Explore More: Love
Commitment is an emotional process. Psychic Hope's podcast explores commitment issues including the fear of commitment & how to get over it to move towards a deeper love.
John Gray, author of “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” said it so perfectly, “Life is filled with rhythms-day and night, hot and cold, summer and winter, spring and fall, cloudy and clear. Likewise in a relationship, men and women have their own rhythms and cycles.” What I love about this quote that it speaks on how men and women act and feel differently towards one another. But there is another hidden message coming out from this quote, it’s how masculine and feminine energies play into the interconnectedness with men and women when wanting commitment in different connections.
It doesn’t matter what kind of connection that you are in as heterosexual, same-sex, bisexual, asexual, transgender, non-binary, interracial, monogamous, open relationship, long-distance, or casual/friends with benefits (the list goes on), on a spiritual and energetic level, all men and women are androgynous in both masculine and feminine energies. We alternate these energies at different times, (consciously and subconsciously), especially on an emotional, mental, physical, sexual, and spiritual level. Most importantly, don’t forget we always leave an energetic imprint on one another when making any connection in life, especially when it leads to a commitment.
When you want a connection to turn into a commitment, it doesn’t matter with who, the energies need to be in alignment where both individuals are on the same page. It “takes two to tango,” while not forgetting your dance shoes. Again, John Gray sums it up, “Love is magical, and it can last, if we remember our differences,” and “When the student is ready the teacher appears. When the question is asked then the answer is heard. When we are truly ready to receive then what we need will become available.”
As a love psychic, relationship coach, and diversity and inclusion coach (I wear many hats), I am going to highlight some inspiring insights on how to move a connection forward towards commitment. It doesn’t matter if your connection with a person was brief or long. Commitment is an emotional process. Men and women (along with all walks of life) move through it differently. I am going to discuss different insights on how to align a connection into a commitment.
Fear of Commitment
First, I would like to bring up the concept of fear of commitment. There is a term for it called gamophobia. Simply put, those who have gamophobia have a fear of commitment. “Gamos” is the Greek word for marriage. “Phobos” (phobia) means fear. This fear is so intense that those who suffer from it often find it impossible to have long-term relationships. Overall, gamophobia is a fear of being in a committed relationship which can be caused by a mixture of genetic influences, family background, and past experiences. The condition can negatively affect a person's life and may lead to loneliness or isolation, so treatment is important.
How Common is a Fear of Commitment?
How many people have a fear of commitment is difficult to say. It is not easy to figure out if you’re dealing with gamophobia or something else, such as: fear of abandonment, fear of intimacy, or fear of trusting others. But it is safe to say that you’re not alone.
What Causes a Fear of Commitment?
There are many factors here. First, a fear of commitment can arise out of a particular trauma, such as witnessing your parents’ difficult relationship or divorce. You may have grown up with the impression that relationship or marital conflicts can’t be worked out and you don’t want to walk in your parents’ footsteps. Second, you have the predisposition for certain anxieties, like gamophobia. However, being a little cautious before committing is a good thing and not indicative of a phobia. Overall, a true phobia shows itself in bigger ways, such as:
- The thought of commitment fills you with dread.
- You have organized your life around this fear.
- You’ve backtracked on good relationships out of a need to “escape.”
- You feel anxious or depressed about relationships.
Also, there are physical symptoms that go with certain phobias that include heart palpitations, sweating, shortness of breath, lightheadedness, nausea, and flushing. You realize that your fear is excessive and can stop you from getting what you want, especially when you want a healthy commitment.
How to Deal with Fear of Commitment?
Well, be very honest with yourself first. The most powerful first step is acknowledging your fear and to realize that it is within your power to change. If you have a connection, be honest with that person to avoid misleading him/she/them on. Give yourself the opportunity to explore the reasons behind your fear. Are past events sabotaging your present happiness? What are your wants and needs in a relationship? Long-term commitment isn’t your cup of tea? Or despite the fear, you want a healthy commitment and are willing to work towards it?
Bottom line, when you are honest with yourself, then the realization may be all you need to start overcoming your fear in small steps.
4 Tips on How to Get a Connection to Commit
1 - Value yourself first. Value yourself first and set appropriate boundaries within yourself. This sets a precedent of loving you first before anyone. How can you ever expect someone else to see your worth? Valuing yourself shows the other person that you do not need them to feel emotionally secure. You know how to make yourself happy first. The person who comes into your life is an extension of your happiness. Only someone who knows their own value can set the foundation for a healthy, committed relationship. When a potential connection sees that you value yourself as healthy and happy within, then he/she/them will feel more comfortable to come into a sacred space to have a commitment with you.
2 - Ready to commit. You need to show how you are in a good place to give of yourself to a person first. It is a rule especially true for commitment in a relationship. Energetically, to receive a healthy commitment, one must be willing to give of himself/herself/themselves. It is the art of giving and receiving. If you feel that you are ready for a commitment, just communicate that to your connection in clear terms. You can then find out if you both are on the same page.
3 - Knowing your wanting vs. needing. True love is a choice. It is all about WANTING to be with the other person by choice.You should never want to make a connection as an emotional crutch of you NEEDING to get through life. When you are emotionally stable and love yourself, you will attract someone who wants to be with you. Don’t treat your connection like an emotional bandage that you need to survive. This can make a person feel suffocated in any connection. Just work on becoming emotionally secure, independent, and loving yourself. With that said, you will want to spend your life with the right connection in a healthy way.
4 – Honesty. Try having that honest conversation on the reasons why you wish to commit to a potential connection. It’s giving the opportunity to express your true feelings to another. Remember, if a person is afraid to commit and needs time, decide whether you can give it to him/her/them. You also have the choice if a potential connection is worth the wait.
6 Signs You Are Heading into a Committed Relationship
Communication retains its status of being the best way to decide whether your connection is a committed one. Here are some signs that demonstrate a strong possibility of commitment.
1 - Spending quality time together. Spending quality time is one of the biggest signs of commitment. It doesn’t matter if you have a busy schedule with work, travel, children, or housework (the list goes on), you learn and are willing to make time with your connection. It shows the person you want a commitment with him/her/them, and you are putting in the effort to spend time, which is a good sign.
2 - Each other’s needs. Each person has their own needs: emotional support, companionship, or even satisfying sexual desires. If you have a person trying his/her/their best to meet your needs, then it shows healthy signs of moving towards a commitment. If you are attempting to get someone to commit to you, try meeting their needs. You will find it works wonders and brings harmony towards the connection you wish to have as a heathy relationship.
3 - Going out of your way for each other. Caring for someone will have you going out of your way to help them out, especially when it doesn’t feel like an obligation. In fact, it just feels right. Taking time out to listen, being a soundboard, running errands, or doing anything that you feel will help the person are a few examples. If you found a connection doing these things for you, you found yourself a keeper. Be appreciative of the person that shows this caring characteristic. It is rare these days to find someone like this in today’s world.
4 - Supporting through tough times and building trust. If you come across a connection that stays with the difficulties in your life, then you will expect this person to be there as your strength and support through it all. Also, if a connection is the first person you think of during challenging times and vice versa, you know that is a good sign of leaning towards a committed relationship. Lastly, when you share personal information with someone, you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It also shows the faith you have in the other person, especially when you are establishing trust. Trust is another important key to building a healthy foundation when your connection turns into a commitment. Most importantly, trust is a sacred gift to never take for granted.
5 - Vacationing together and going to family functions and events. When it comes to vacations, one would only prefer to go with someone whose company you enjoy and make happy memories with while getting to know each other better. If you take frequent vacations together, it is a healthy sign that you and your connection can be ready for a commitment. Naturally, when you are ready to bring your connection around your family and friends, it shows the level of comfort and respect that you have for the person closest to your heart. You would also want others to get to know your connection and appreciate them the way you do. Bringing your connection to family functions and events is a good sign you are ready to settle down more in life.
6 - Collectively make plans for the future. One thing you can do to keep moving forward in a connection is to collectively make plans. Do you see yourself relocating? Do you want children? How do you see “us” in the future? Talking about these ideas and making plans helps you begin to mentally register your connection as an integral part of your future and can help move things forward. At the end, being honest is another important key to building respect and trust for a healthy commitment to flourish.
Masculine and Feminine Energy
Briefly, I want to touch upon the insights on how men and women think differently in terms of being convinced into a commitment. Hopefully, I don’t confuse you, but allow me to elaborate. I do believe that men, women, or them regardless of being heterosexual, same-sex, bisexual, asexual, transgender, or non-binary (the list goes on), can be more masculine (direct/assertive/logical) or feminine (intuitive/calm/fluid) in these energies or both masculine and feminine at the same time in how you relate to a love connection when pursuing a commitment. Unbelievably, these energies are always alternating (consciously or subconsciously). Please don’t forget again we are all made up of these energies (yin and yang or duality to have harmony), and we mirror off one another with any connection in life. Here are some additional secrets....
How Do I Convince a Man to Commit?
Create a relaxing connection. You are wondering how to make a male commit to an exclusive relationship. Number one rule: it is best to make the connection relaxing. Men can assess relationships depending on how relaxed they are with their connections. Therefore, you can take the time to enjoy each other’s company. You can show how appreciative you are of him. Maintaining a happy connection without the pressures of commitment is what makes him want to commit.
No strong ultimatums. In the beginning, you should never give strong ultimatums since he would be pressured to commit. If he is not interested, you should not force it because you will just end up getting hurt. So, put your ego aside. Plus, respect a male’s wishes when he says, “NO,” because he is just NOT into you as you are into him (this goes for men with women, and all other forms of different connections).
Self-worth. Instead, show him you are WORTHY so that he will see no reason not to commit to you. Most importantly, when a man sees your self-worth (having a healthy self-esteem), this is a good sign that you are confident within yourself, which will eventually make his heart open-up more towards you.
Ways to Convince a Woman to Commit
Value and validate. Women want to feel special, but you will inevitably turn them off if you compliment them or adore them excessively. Just be yourself. Be kind, sincere, and be a gentleman (or do things that make yourself attractive with confidence and respect) at times. Regardless of how modern women think today, a little chivalry still goes a long way. Learn how to listen to a woman when you have a conversation and validate her emotions (even if it’s not perfect). Being in tune with a woman’s emotions is a game changer. You don’t always have to solve her problems but being a compassionate soundboard and listener will go a long way towards a healthy commitment.
Drop the mind games and keep it real. Oh boy, don’t play mind games with women or pretend to be interested in them if you aren’t. A woman’s time and energy are very precious and shouldn’t be taken for granted. And do not do it if it’s solely for the purpose of feeding your own ego or rebuilding your confidence. Plus, do not be in a connection with a woman to figure yourself out and later not commit to her. If you are a player, a woman will not commit to you. It’s not only immature, but you’re also deceiving the numerous women you’re seeing. Maybe you’re just after physical intimacy, a womanizer, or even a superficial narcissist, but karma will bite you hard. Don’t play games with any woman’s heart and lead her on if you’re not willing to invest emotionally and authentically.
Create an emotional connection while not pressuring her. You must burst her barriers to form an emotional connection that will last over time and cause her to commit to you. You must be the man (or right connection) and demonstrate your love for her by being sincere in your intentions as a person of commitment (not for convenience). When your words match your actions and vice versa, you show a pattern of consistency and respect for her value, time, and energy of who she is. A woman will either commit or ask you to be her sole companion for life. To remind her of how much you enjoy pleasing her and making her feel loved, just bust her emotional walls. She will want to spend more time with you and plan a future, while you won’t have to wonder how to get her to commit.
As above, never give ultimatums to a woman to be in a commitment with you. If you genuinely love someone, you wouldn’t rush anyone. It is wiser to take your time to create a nice flow or pace to allow your connection to grow into a healthy commitment. Avoid pressuring a woman to commit as soon as you start dating her. This only adds to a woman’s stress and causes her to withdraw from you sooner. When a woman is afraid of commitment, you should avoid putting any pressure on her and wait if she is worth it. Before pursuing a commitment with her, just concentrate on improving the connection and making it sincere and safe for her to be herself. A woman will be more willing to commit to you if she enjoys your company (it goes both ways with a healthy connection).
Convincing a Connection to Commit
Acknowledge small acts of kindness. It can be as simple as opening a door, giving your connection a little kiss, or just helping with errands. When your love is there for someone, let them know. It is usually the little things that make a big difference.
Share an idea. You want to do something totally unusual, or there is an adventure you have always wanted to participate in with a connection? Doing new things helps increase your bond to a healthy commitment.
Appreciation. Showing appreciation of one another is a cornerstone of any positive connection. Appreciation is a two-way street. Always remember to practice showing appreciation to a person that you love. Again, it is the art of giving and receiving. When two people feel appreciated, it will always feel like being a union that keeps on getting better and stronger.
Lastly, I want to empathize the concept of spiritual connections. Ever wonder if a connection is your twin flame, a soulmate, or a karmic relationship? There are many kinds of spiritual connections that bring life lessons (positive and negative), healing, and spiritual advancement. These connections can be from your past lives and later, they can meet up with you within this current lifetime, especially as love connections.
Within my Manifest a Spiritual Connection with Someone Guided Meditation Podcast, there are some intuitive insights that I mention on knowing how to connect and recognize a spiritual connection. They include:
- You are comfortable in their presence.
- You are instinctively drawn to them.
- You are authentic and honest with them.
- You have a mutual respect for each other.
- You have no problem keeping up a conversation.
- You do anything for each other.
- You can tell when something is wrong.
- You feel your morals and values are aligned.
- You feel like you’ve known them for ages.
- You trust them without hesitation.
- You can communicate in silence and in dreams.
- You get a higher self-awareness and better understanding of yourself.
- You can move forward with your life.
- You can progress more spiritually with them.
- You view the connections as a way for personal growth.
- You maintain your separate selves or lives without issues.
- Most importantly, you had a psychic confirm the connections for you.
Overall, don’t forget all men and women are androgynous in both masculine and feminine energies. We alternate these energies at different times (consciously and subconsciously), especially on an emotional, mental, physical, sexual, and spiritual level. Most importantly, don’t forget we always leave an energetic imprint on one another when making any connection in life, especially when it leads to a commitment.
The poet, Kahil Gibran sums everything up so perfectly with this poem, Love One Another:
“Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart.
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”
Blessings with light and love!
Hope has been guiding people with her healing modalities as an intuitive empath, psychic medium, reiki practitioner, empowerment life coach and much more. She inspires people in areas of improving love, career, business, spirituality, self-confidence, and over-coming fears. Hope is your compassionate listener and cheerleader. She has 25 years of legal and government experience. She has a diverse background working as a paralegal in different areas of law and earned a degree in Government and Public Policy. She has worked for law firms and state and federal governments. She also once enjoyed working as an event coordinator.
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