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I Want Children, He Doesn't. What Do We Do?

Date 1/16/2023
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You'd be overjoyed at a positive pregnancy test, but what if your partner isn't on the same page?

You'd be overjoyed at a positive pregnancy test, but what if your partner isn't on the same page?

You melt near newborns but your partner says he never wants children. You love him dearly and can't imagine life without him, but you can't imagine your life without kids either. What should you do?

Discuss What's Fueling Your Desires

Our opinions and experiences shape what we want out of life. Discussing what's led you both to your stance can bring you closer and help decide what's next.

Sometimes people don't want children because they worry about their financial security or suitability for parenthood. These fears may be eased by saving more money or spending time with little ones you know.

Perhaps you want a child because you feel lonely or you want something to nurture and love. Getting a pet can fulfill this need for some people.

While you might reach a solution you're both happy with through this discussion, don't enter the conversation aiming to change your partner's mind. This may make him defensive. Instead, listen to his point of view and offer opinions calmly and supportively. Frame comments like: “Would you feel happier about having children if …?” rather than “So you would have kids if …?”

Seek Professional Help

Some problems are too big to solve on your own. Relationship professionals can help you navigate major issues like disagreeing about kids. A counselor can help you explore your positions, communicate better, suggest options you haven't thought of, and help you both make the right decisions for your future. For another perspective, consider calling a psychic hotline.

Consider What's Most Important to You Both

You want children and your partner doesn't. You both say you want to build a life together. All these wants seem so important, but in truth, some things are less important than others. Ask yourself if you could be happy living your life without children. Would you sacrifice your relationship to have them? Ask your partner how strong his desire to avoid fatherhood is, and whether he would rather be childless without you or a father with you. You may find it useful to rate your desires from one to 10 to clarify their importance to you.

Be Prepared to Walk Away

Experts say good relationships are about compromise, but this is one area where there is no middle ground. You either have children, or you don't. If you can't make peace with a shared decision, you'll be miserable if you stay together. While walking away will be difficult, you should be prepared to do it so you can both pursue happiness. Breakups are never easy, but with the help of your friends, family members, a therapist, and an online psychic to give you hope for the future, you can get through.  

Deciding whether to bring children into the world or not is one of the largest choices any couple will make. Only you can know whether you can come to an agreement you can both live with or you need to part ways.

But what if the reverse is true and He Wants Children and You Don't? 

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