We like to think that we’re independent adults, but all too often, we allow ourselves to rely on the important people in our lives too much. This undermines our well-being and keeps us from achieving lasting happiness. Here are some tips to help you recover your independence.
Learn to Be Assertive
On PsychCentral.com, psychotherapist Joyce Marter, LCPC says, “Assertiveness involves advocating for yourself in a way that is positive and proactive.” It isn’t about being demanding or overbearing, it’s about standing up for yourself in a respectful way. The Mayo Clinic website suggests using “I” statements when expressing your feelings or beliefs. This lets you take ownership of your feelings and talk about them without appearing to attack the other person.
Decide for Yourself
An important marker of independence is making decisions for yourself. All too often, we let others control our lives by deciding what we should and shouldn’t do. It’s most often done under the guise of others knowing what’s best. Chat with a psychic online and learn how to resist the urge to buckle. Discover how to make your decision and stick with it.
Don’t Rationalize Your Decisions to Others
Part of making your own decisions is to feel good about them after you have made them regardless of what others may think. You may believe that if someone, especially a parent, boss, or spouse, doesn’t agree with your decision that you need to justify it to them. Resist the urge, because you don’t. It only undermines your own agency and gives rise to second-guessing yourself. If you must, Oprah.com has the great advice to give only general responses about why you are doing something.
Schedule Time for Yourself
Having “me” time is crucial to living a well-adjusted life. When you are always doing things with and for other people, even your significant other, you lose a bit of yourself. In time, this can drain you, and leave you feeling empty and without direction. Set aside at least one day every week to pursue a hobby or do something that makes you happy.
Get to Know Yourself
Self-assessment is an important tool in becoming more independent. It is only after you have discovered who you are and what you want out of life that you can start making plans and acting on them. On PsychCentral.com, psychotherapist Darlene Lancer, MFT suggests journaling as a way to get to know yourself. In your journal, write about your day and think about how you felt. Did your words and actions match up with your feelings? If not, ask yourself why this is the case. Some of the best phone psychic readings can talk you through this and help you get to know yourself.
Recovering your independence is about recognizing that your needs, wants, and feelings are just as important as those of others, and that you’re allowed to meet some of those things on your own, and in your own way. As an independent person, you can give more without sacrificing yourself.