If you've been on a date with someone who is constantly distracted by their phone, you know how a cell phone can instantly kill the mood. Smartphones are a bone of contention in many relationships. These days they're right up there with arguments about money, kids, and sex. Here's how the effects of an addiction to technology can ruin a relationship.
It Leads to Insecurity
When your attention is always on something else, like your phone, your partner feels ignored and unloved. There's actually a term for it: phubbing, a combination of phone and snubbing. This leads to resentment, hurt, anger, and insecurity — all toxic emotions that will eat away at the relationship. If you discover your partner has turned to a love psychic for reassurance about the relationship, it's time to put your phone down and connect with him or her instead.
It Ruins Quality Time
One study found that the average American checks their smartphone once every 12 minutes, or roughly 80 times each day. Addiction to the cell phone is real. To break the cycle, set a specific time in the evening where you both disconnect from the laptop, tablet, and cellphone. Spend the time talking and catching up on the day, cook dinner together, cuddle, or watch a movie. Give no thought to the notifications piling up on your phone; just be fully present in each other's company.
It Kills Your Sex Life
If you and your significant other spend more time exchanging digital kisses than real kisses, it's just a matter of time until your sex life suffers. We've all heard that the bedroom should be for sex and sleep only, yet most of us are guilty of screen time at bedtime. Some couples even sit side by side in bed with their laptops open responding to work emails. Technology is so intrusive in the bedroom that many couples have swapped real intimacy with digital intimacy. After all, you're now getting your rush of dopamine, a feel-good hormone released during sex, from how many likes you get on your latest Instagram post!
It Breeds Paranoia
As much as you try to remain rational, there's no avoiding your imagination running wild. You're convinced that he or she is having an affair. After all, why else would your partner have their fingers glued to their phone 24 hours a day? You're not entirely irrational. The mobile phone has made it easy to cheat. However, if a love tarot reading doesn't reveal an affair, have a heart-to-heart talk with your partner. He or she could simply be unaware of their excessive cellphone use and how it affects you.
The smartphone isn't a complete buzzkill to a relationship. It is a great tool for keeping in touch with loved ones. However, its dark side is always present. If you keep a check on your cell phone use and respect your partner's feelings, there's no reason this little device should wreak havoc on your relationship.