I asked Steve if anything had changed with regards to his wife in the last six months, aside from getting married, because I sensed a depression circling his wife’s energy very strongly. He replied, “She’s gained some weight, but I don’t care!”
Body Image and Your Sex Life
As an empath I could hear that her inner voice is being downright cruel to her and there are mornings when she can barely figure out what to wear because she’s afraid of showing her perceived “ugly body” to the world. So obviously getting naked and having sex isn't very high on his wife’s list of fun activities.
Steve was quiet for a moment, and then said, “But if I want her doesn’t that make it clear that she is attractive?”
No, it isn’t clear at all. Being able to see into his wife’s feelings and unspoken needs, I asked that he spend some time telling his wife how beautiful she is. I suggested that he make an effort to touch her (not sexually), hug her, joke with her and just be with her. A kind outer voice balances and maybe even outweighs the cruel inner voice. A happy and confident woman will more than likely lead to a better sexual relationship. He said he was up for anything and would give my advice some thought.
Opening Up To Your Spouse
Steve said he was very open with his praise of her body. This added reassurance really began to open the doors to a passion that had existed prior to their marriage. But Steve feared that his compliments would be seen as insincere because she might think he “wanted something,” and that’s OK.
His wife was picking up on the fact that he was being extra kind for a reason. I told Steve that the truth is in the praise. The touching and loving connection cannot be solely for the purpose of having sex. The real goal has to be “to have a happier wife.” I reminded him that he was working on long-term goals--a healthy relationship--not short-term bandages. And a healthy relationship has a strong dose of steamy sex!
*=Name changed for privacy.