His Side of Things: Psychic Arthur on "You just met the guy and it's Christmas!"

Christmas is right around the corner. Joanne and Hector have only been dating about six weeks, but Joanne wants to really surprise him with something special. Knowing he likes to smoke a cigar now and then, she decided on getting him some cigars; however, instead of a sampler pack, she opted for getting him a brand new humidor packed with hand-rolled cigars. While she was at it, she also picked him up an expensive bottle of brandy, with a set of matching brandy snifters. A couple weeks before Christmas, Hector asked her what she would like for Christmas. “I don’t need anything,” she told him. “Just as long as I have you.” When it came time to exchange gifts, Hector handed Joanne a small wrapped box. “You said you didn’t want anything. I didn’t know what to get you, so I hope you like it.” Inside the delicately wrapped box was a simple silk scarf, which she quickly dismissed to hand Hector his gifts. As he opened each gift Hector seemed to get quiet. “What’s the matter? Don’t you like what I got you? I figured after a long day you could sit back have a cigar and sip brandy,” she explained. “I’m a little speechless,” Hector explained. “You gave me too much. I only gave you a scarf.” Before he could continue, Joanne chimed in, “Well, when you love someone as much as I love you, you want to make that person happy.” Joanne and Hector stopped seeing each other shortly after New Year’s Day. And while Hector had asked Joanne to return some of the gifts, she flatly refused adding: “You just used me to get through the holidays.”

Okay, so here’s what just happened:

For many women, gift giving carries a deep emotional meaning for the recipient and the giver. To guys, a thoughtful gift is a stand-alone gesture. Receiving too much too soon can read as a calculated show of affection or a stepping-stone to secure a relationship.

 

Now, while Hector did enjoy the time he spent with Joanne, in the back of his mind he kept feeling “Danger, Will Robinson!”  Why? They had only been dating six weeks and Hector felt her presents, while lovely and thoughtful, were gift-wrapped motives with strings attached. Again, too much, too soon.

So, the moral of the story: If a couple has not been dating very long and there is some sort of gift-exchange, keep the gifts under $30! And for all the Joannes out there: If you have not been dating very long, the last thing you want to do is scare him off by buying him some expensive and flashy gifts. Save those for after you have been dating longer.