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Remember that landmark scene from the film, “A Few Good Men,” when Kaffee (Tom Cruise) demands: “I want the truth!” And Col. Jessep (Jack Nicholson) heatedly proclaims: “You can’t handle the truth!”
Well, that’s what kinda runs through a guy’s mind when he’s asked: “What are you thinking?”
Lots of women want to know what men are thinking and say they want the truth; however, very few know what to do when they hear it. Basically men think differently than women and when a man lets a woman into his thought process, it can easily lead to a “Danger, Will Robinson” moment.
When a woman asks: “What are you thinking?” She’s really asking: “Are you thinking about me right now?” Since most men think in “black and white” terms, they simply answer the question they hear, which is: “What are you thinking?” Men really don’t understand why they end up in the doghouse when their answer has something to do with beer or anything else for that matter.
In order to protect themselves and relationships, here are some honest thoughts that men think, but don’t communicate (for obvious reasons):
Q: Are you ever attracted to other women, besides me?
A: Yes, I’m attracted to other women.
Q: Do you believe in monogamy?
A: No, I don’t think humans are biologically wired for monogamy.
Q: Do you ever have doubts about our relationship?
A: Yes, sometimes I wonder if we’re meant to be together.
At the same time, just because a man thinks something, that doesn’t mean he can’t have equally contradictory thoughts, which again he feels he’s better off keeping to himself, as opposed to having to justify himself.
Q: Are you ever attracted to other women, besides me?
A: Yes, I’m attracted to other women… but I’m very attracted to you.
Q: Do you believe in monogamy?
A: No, I don’t think humans are biologically wired for monogamy… but I do see the benefits of monogamy, especially with raising a family.”
Q: Do you ever have doubts about our relationship?
A: Yes, sometimes I wonder if we’re meant to be together… but I’ve never met anyone who makes me as happy as you.
Men like their freedom. The last thing a guy wants to do is have to explain his “private” thoughts, let alone give reasons for why he’s thinking them. If you want to ask a guy something or want to know where you stand in a relationship, don’t beat around the bush and just ask. However, do not punish him for his answer or demand clarification of his answer. That is unless you want him telling you: “Ask me no questions; I tell you no lies.”