His Side of Things: Psychic Arthur on "I Don't Know"

Date 4/2/2021
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Understand his side of things

Understand his side of things

Keesha is getting frustrated with Angelo’s behavior. She wants to talk to him about how she feels he has become distant since he started his new job. Later that night, just as they sit down to dinner, she tells him: “We need to talk. Ever since you started that new job you’ve been making feel like you don’t want me around anymore. Why are you doing this to me?” Surprised, he replies: “I don’t know.” A frustrated Keesha continues: “What do you mean, you don’t know? Do you want to continue this relationship or not? Do you know how you are making me feel? What do you have to say?” Angelo sighs: “Look, I said I don’t know.” Wanting to avoid further conflict, Angelo walks away.
Okay, here’s just what happened:
Since most women are abstract thinkers and negotiators, they want to talk things out until the discussion (argument) has a resolution. Basically the majority of women multi-task and can do a thousand things at one time. The idea of coming to some logical conclusion to a discussion (argument) is what they desire to accomplish.
On the other hand, most men compartmentalize, prioritize and focus on what is in front of them, doing one thing at a time. In this kind of situation, when asked a question, men need to walk away, think things over, and then return with an answer.
As a result, when a guy is asked questions and replies: “I don’t know” he is not playing games; he genuinely does not have an answer, at that moment, and is basically telling the truth. To a guy, “I don’t know” means, “I have to think about it/that.” It is only once he walks away and think things over, will he have an answer. He is not walking away so he can fabricate a “good story.” He is walking away so he can process.
Think of a man’s brain like a huge chest with drawers. Each drawer is of equal importance, but he can only focus on one drawer at a time. Or better yet, while a women’s brain is like a stove with 1000 burners (since women see the past, the present, and perceive the future), a man’s brain is like a hot plate with one unit that kind of works – and there is no back burner!
So, the moral of the story: If a gal asks a guy a question and he says, “I don’t know,” he’s telling the truth. To interrogate him further saying, “What do you mean, you don’t know,” only sets him up to perceive that he is being scolded, shamed and/or told: “You are wrong. I am right. You are lying to me.” He already has a mom. He does not want another one. He will emotionally, mentally and physically checkout.


Author's Photo by Arthur x8237


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