Stealthy attempts at checking up on an ex are nothing new. Before social media, you might call a past lover and hang up or drive by their home. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have made it exceedingly easy to check up on your ex without them ever knowing. It's extremely common for individuals to look up past lovers online, but it's important to think about what you're doing and whether it's necessary.
The Boundaries of Social Media Stalking
It's important to set mindful boundaries on social media. Occasionally browsing public posts is legally safe because the only real victim is you. Sending messages to your ex, their friends, or their new lovers begins to cross some boundaries. So too does any kind of physical contact that comes from social media stalking. For example, showing up at a venue to confront your ex because you saw that they RSVPed to an event there. These efforts will rarely turn out well. If you're feeling tempted, talking to a phone psychic might help.
Why You Should Stop
Looking up your past lover on social media slows your own recovery. You can't heal from your past relationship when you continue to feed it time and energy. It's unlikely that any benefits are coming from your social stalking, so it's best to stop.
How to Step Back on Social
Looking up an ex on social media is incredibly tempting, so it's important to put mindful measures in place that will help you stop. These vary by platform.
- Facebook: "Take a break" from your ex, limiting the posts that each of you will see from the other in your feeds. Alternately, you can unfollow, unfriend, or block someone.
- Twitter: Mute the account on Twitter so you don't see what they post. You'll still get notifications of any mentions. You can also unfollow or block someone.
- Instagram: Mute people so you don't have to unfollow them but you'll stop seeing their posts. You can unfollow your ex or block them completely as well.
Consider both what you want to see and what you want your ex to see. If you'd like to stop the other party from stalking your posts, blocking them is usually the most effective approach, while the other options do more to control what you see as you scroll.
Smart Strategies for Resisting the Urge
Replace your social scrolling with other activities like finding new recipes on Pinterest. Enlist a friend or reach out to an online psychic you can call when you'd like to reach out to your ex. Delete social apps from your phone so you have to sit down at a computer and make a greater effort to check them. Fill your schedule with other projects so you can focus more on your independent future and less on the past.
Social media stalking is an easy habit to fall into, but it's best avoided for your emotional health.