Configurations for love come in assorted forms. Everyone has a different idea of what works. Should religious reasons preclude you from this set up, this is clearly not for you. If you cannot reconcile your values to accommodate a relationship for three, you will be in constantly conflict.
Jealousy and Secrets
The very existence of some of these arrangements are based in secrecy. For any number of reasons: work, family, status, and the like, another woman has to be invisible. If you cannot keep a secret, this situation is a ticking time bomb. If you cannot resist placing images of your loved one on social media for the world to see, you are better off resisting love behind closed doors.
Is Three Better than Two?
If this is something that completely turns you off and him on, this relationship is doomed. If you believe participation in this kind of passion will you closer together as a couple, you need to drop that idea at once. If a man is going to ask for a ménage à trois, and you are in it, this is the start of something, not the end.
When a relationship begins like this, it is highly unrealistic to expect it to change. No matter how wonderful or caring you are, if you believe you can move a person from polygamy to monogamy, you are playing with fire. Only frustration will meet you when you think you can change someone. Certainly, people’s wants and needs alter, but you cannot count on it when love starts as a three way.
Gambling that you can turn this into marriage, ring and all, this is risky at best. Some have been able to go from the shadows into wedded bliss, but it is rare. Community property laws, expensive divorces, and family often keep the wedded wed.
Love offers options. It always has. The secret is finding the one that works for you. When it comes to being the “Other Woman,” or even being a secret love, one has to ponder if this right for you. When you consider what is involved, that may make finding the answer easier. At least, know want you getting into if you.