Can Cheaters Change?

Published Date 8/11/2019
Category: Love, Relationships & Family

Cheaters must take full responsibility for their betrayal.

You caught your partner cheating. After the initial shock and devastation, your thoughts go to what happens next. Your partner swears they will change, but can they? Can a relationship actually move forward after cheating, or will it just happen again? Learn whether it's possible to rebuild the trust in your relationship after it's been violated so painfully.

Wait for the Right Time

Before you truly consider whether you're willing to trust your partner again, it's important to take a little bit of time to process your anger and sadness. It's truly heartbreaking to find out that the one you love has gone behind your back for intimacy and affection. If you try to make decisions about your relationship too quickly after discovering the transgression, you might regret it later. 

Give yourself some time to calm down and think rationally about the situation. If you're having trouble, take a few days to be on your own or get a psychic phone reading to help you see beyond the present moment.

Look for the Cause

Often, the reasons that lead a person to cheat are complex. While your partner is still at fault for their infidelity, it's important to find out why they cheated in the first place. Why would your partner choose to betray you? Potential causes for cheating include:

  • Using intimacy as a way to boost their self-worth.
  • Confusing sexual attraction for love.
  • Lack of intimacy within the relationship.
  • Looking for an excuse to end a relationship.

Keep in mind that even if there were problems within your relationship, the blame for cheating falls on the cheater alone. You are not to blame, but it helps to understand what may have contributed to your partner's poor decision making.

Hear Them Out

Once you've had a chance to express your anger, it's time to let your partner speak. Even though they've hurt you badly, it's important to hear them out. A cheater who truly wants to change will express the following:

  • Remorse: It's important that your partner expresses true regret over what they have done.
  • Recognition: Your partner should recognize how their actions have affected and hurt you.
  • Acceptance of blame: They should take full responsibility for the betrayal.
  • Atonement: Make sure your partner details exactly how they plan to regain your trust.

If your partner blames you for pushing them to cheat, makes excuses for their actions, or expresses little remorse or desire to change, take it as a sign that you should move on. These red flags indicate that your partner will not change and may continue to cheat.

Be Kind to Yourself

Dealing with the fallout after infidelity in a relationship is incredibly difficult. Regardless of what happens with your partner, take time to care for yourself. Spend time with friends or family, get an astrology reading, read a good book, and plan other activities that bring you peace and happiness.

Some couples go on to have faithful, loving relationships after cheating, while others fail. Use these steps to determine whether this mistake is a one-time transgression or a warning sign that the relationship is doomed.


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