Avoiding Resentment in Your Relationships

Published Date 3/26/2017
Category: Love, Relationships & Family

Focus on connection and compassion to avoid building resentment.

Resentment doesn't always develop because of a big fight or a serious falling out. In fact, it often occurs slowly over time, growing stronger as you feed it. To keep your relationships healthy and resentment-free, follow these simple strategies.

Set Clear Boundaries

You might experience resentment if someone you love crosses one of your boundaries. For instance, your loved one might try to discuss a topic that makes you uncomfortable. However, if you haven't set clear boundaries, the other person won't know when he or she has crossed a line.

Setting boundaries can actually help you develop better relationships. When your loved ones know what offends you, they can avoid those behaviors or topics and respect your boundaries. Of course, you must also learn your loved ones' boundaries and respect them.

Express Your Feelings

Some people resist their emotions because they fear hurting others. It's a natural response to conflict, but if you bottle up your emotions, they will feed your resentment. Eventually, you'll have to release that pent-up aggression — and probably not in a healthy way.

Talk about your feelings with an online psychic, which might help you sort through your emotions and better understand their origins. At some point, though, you need to discuss those feelings with the people who matter most. Your relationship will strengthen once you're honest with each other.

Accept Responsibility

You might feel anger, disappointment, or resentment toward someone else, but did you play any role in the problem? Even if you feel that the other person caused most of the damage, accept responsibility for your part to establish empathy and compassion.

We all screw up. Once you acknowledge your shortcomings and feel empathy for yourself, you can give the same gift to others. If you can't feel compassion for yourself, you'll struggle to feel it for your loved ones.

Choose Your Words

Relationships can prove tricky, especially when you speak without thinking. Pause before you reply to something your loved one has said. Consider your words carefully, then express your emotions as thoughtfully as possible.

Try starting all sentences with "I." Instead of telling loved ones what or who they are, tell them how you feel. Acknowledge that their perspectives might differ from yours.

Keep Confidences

Nothing fuels resentment faster than gossip. Instead of complaining to your best friend about your spouse, talk to your significant other directly. 

You might speak privately to your clairvoyant or therapist, but keep other people out of the mix. If your loved one hears what you've said second-hand, you'll have stoked the resentment fire for days or weeks to come.

Learn to Say 'No'

When you're a people-pleaser, you don't like to turn people down. However, accepting every task and responsibility will cause serious resentment.

Practice saying "no" when you don't have the energy, willpower, or desire to do something. You'll live a healthier life, and you'll preserve your relationships.

Does resentment sometimes happen? Of course. However, you can prevent most of the damage by following the tips above.


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