1) As charming and attractive as your date maybe, too much flattery is a killer. Even if he or she is a top model, telling them how pretty they are every five minutes is just redundant, and creepy. You end up looking pathetic, and the other person is just made uncomfortable.
2) If your first date is at a five-star restaurant, that is over kill. Be it a man or woman, if you are flashing the cash, you are just making someone feel obligated or inferior. No man wants to face a $60.00 appetizer who makes $ 15.00 an hour. Start modestly.
3) Sharing is not caring. You really need to put your best foot forward. That means not talking about your ailments, afflictions or a horrid childhood. No one wants to hear about your failed marriages, that time you spent in rehab or how Prozac wrecked your sex life. Everyone has a history. Everyone has flaws. Reciting all your dirty laundry and past lovers just paints a portrait of someone who is both stuck in the past and unwilling to move forward.
4) Asking too many personal questions is not something anyone wants to face. Even publicity seeking celebrities get tired of being asked about their love lives. Unless you are a journalist interviewing a world leader, keep the hard core questions to a bare minimum. When you ask a slew of highly personal questions one after the other what should be a date resembles a police interrogation instead. Less is more!
5) As tempting as it may be, do not drink too much. A spirit can be a nice ice breaker. A drunk singing Adele’s “Hello” while disrobing is too, but not the good kind. Inhibitions vanish with alcohol. That means you may be prone to loosing inhibitions, and underwear, if not careful. You want to be sharp, not slurring words while falling over strangers, ouch.
6) Keep the language clean. Remember, you are getting to know someone. That person is new to you. Nothing says “I am indifferent” like dropping an F bomb after “Hello, my name is.” You are not going to earn points if you start drifting into urban slang. Even if your date is a professional rap star, he or she may not like being called homeboy, homegirl or just “Ho.”
7) Don’t make assumptions about what people may like, or want to hear. Your condescending attempts at “fitting in” could make you look like a racist, misogynist or a third rate comic.
8) Putting on airs to impress is just bad manners, period. Instead of making you look important, the more you brag about your accomplishments, the more insecure you look. Being modest is always wise.
9) Put away the cell phone! No one wants to be on a date where they feel like they are competing for your attention with your iPhone. E-mails, the latest celebrity Tweets, and beating your high score on Candy Crush can all wait until later. If for some reason you are expecting a call that has to get through, set the phone on vibrate and keep it in your pocket and only check on the occasion it starts to buzz. And if you receive a call that’s not an emergency, let it go, that’s why voicemail was invented.
In a world of text messages and social media, dating has not been made easier. It is as hard as it has ever been. Along with it, some ideas about how to approach someone on that critical first date have become blurred. Social rules have changed. As a result, some of the most basics have been lost.
Follow the simple suggestions above to help (but unfortunately not guarantee) that a second or third date lies ahead! Now get out there and get dating!
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