Many have heard of the book and movie, "He's Just Not That Into You" and wonder if they can ever find love. My thought is to cut out the middle person so to speak, learn to love and respect yourself first, then watch what shows up as a reflection of that deep inner journey. We take time to work out, to look good on the outside. But how much time do we take to feel and look good on the inside? What if you were really into working on yourself first? What would that look like?
The Importance of Self Care
When I say self-care, I mean self-care that feels beyond delicious when you do it. It snuggles you all up in a feeling of yummy love that you've known existed all along— it's always been inside yourself. I'm talking about the type of taking care of self, that cherishes you from the moment you awaken, until the very second you're gently nudged back into sleep.
Self-care renews your spirit in a way no outside love can. Especially if you’ve had a string of disappointing experiences, yearning for love but only receiving a mirage of the real thing that vanishes when you get too close. The pain you feel after one of those relationships can steal hours and days of your precious life. Your heart may feel so distressed and unbalanced that you question if you can ever find love again.
It is at these times that mindful self-love can call you back to the truth of who you are, no matter how lost you get in a sea of anxious and depressive emotions. The longest relationship you will ever have is with yourself after all. If you regularly practice mindful self-love exercises for self-acceptance, you will find a well of love that never runs dry.
Examples of Self-Care
Self-care is a conscious and deliberate strategy and activity that feels good. It brings us to a level of nurturing ourselves so we may give back to others. Of course, there are always the standard excuses “I’m too busy. I don’t have time. Really, I’m fine.” And you really might think you’re fine until you hit a brick wall of exhaustion or illness. To create balance in your life, you cannot ignore these 3 components of holistic self-care: physical, emotional, and mental.
While life is complicated, self-care doesn’t have to be. There are plenty of easy self-care tips and strategies to get you back on track and create a life of balance on a physical, mental, and emotional level.
Physical self-care strategies:
1. You are what you eat!
How you fuel your physical body impacts your emotional and mental stamina. Everyone gets busy from time to time. When that happens, we tend to grab an easy snack or even skip a meal. If you regularly ignore the fact that food and water should be considered a source of energy to help fuel you throughout the day, your body, mind, and spirit will pay the price.
One easy self-care strategy is when you know you are going to have an extremely busy day or week pre-plan what you are going to eat. There are plenty of alternatives for eating healthy. Do a little thinking about what kind of snacks you usually reach for and keep a healthy alternative you enjoy regularly stocked in your pantry instead, especially on weeks you know will be busy. There are websites that can help recommend good replacements if you get stuck.
If you need some help with your main meal prep, there are services now you can order your meals for a week and follow the directions to prepare and cook. And, if that is not in your budget, check on sites like Pinterest for ideas for meals you can cook ahead on Sunday that will help you get through a tough week. Remember, you can also bring in a spiritual aspect to fully round out a practice of mindful eating for self-care and holistic living.
Don’t forget to include water in your mindful eating plan! Often people will think they are hungry or tired when they are actually thirsty. You can buy BPA bottles that measure 72 ounces, fill it up with water, keep it near you while you work, and drink away. Water helps to flush the toxins from your system and keeps your body hydrated.
Exercise is something that helps not only with your physical body but also affects your mental and emotional wellness. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that exercise needs to be painful or boring. Anything fun that you love to do counts as exercise! Walking, jogging, going to the gym, hiking, swimming, yoga, and dancing--whatever gets you to move your body and gets your blood flowing is a good thing. You wouldn’t go throughout the day without brushing your teeth. That would be icky. So make a plan to move your body. Be deliberate and schedule your time for exercise. Feel free to switch up the activity if you know you are the type who gets bored doing the same thing all the time.
Getting enough rest is essential to be able to perform during the day. Of course, there will be exceptions when you have a late night and are unable to get adequate sleep. While getting a good sleep is the ideal, you can try getting in a quick meditation session. Just ten minutes will do the trick. Meditation can often help refresh you when you have not had adequate sleep. Also, a digital detox before you go to sleep is important. Turn off the cell phone, the computer off, and the television to tune into better sleep. Take a look at these sleep tips for more ideas.
Emotional Self Care Strategies
1. Meditation and Deep Breathing
Meditation is a wonderful way to quiet the mind and to help overall relax the physical body. If you combine meditation with deep breathing, you can quickly overcome any anxiety that you encounter during the day.
There are many ways to meditate. You can take a class to learn meditation or go on-line and find tips and hints on how to meditate. Remember, meditation doesn’t always mean sitting still. You can do active meditation by coloring or working with a moving meditation practice. Walking in nature can be a wonderful form of meditation. Focusing on the beauty of nature and the world around you as you go is a very easy form of meditation.
Music is a wonderful self-care strategy to lift your mood. Make a good mood playlist (or two, or three!) and listen to your favorite tunes while driving to work, working out or whenever you are in need of an extra boost of energy. In the same way, music can often calm the mind when you have had a busy day by listening to something low key and calming.
Believe it or not, one way to feel emotionally connected is to speak with a close friend or a loved one. We spend way too much time on social media and to hear the sound of a friend or loved one’s voice brings not only a sense of connection but gives us a peaceful feeling of being loved and cared about. Don’t wait for someone to call you—reach out and speak with those you care about.
Another self-care tip is laughter! There are so many streaming services now that it’s easy to find something that not only makes you laugh but it lifts your spirits too. It’s important to remember not to take life too seriously.
Mental Healthcare Tips and Strategies
1. Time Off
Regularly taking time off should be part of your holistic wellness and self-care for stress relief. You can take a day, a weekend, a three-day weekend or a full vacation. The important thing is to do only things that you absolutely love to do.
Don’t go overboard in trying to cram experiences into your time off either. Over scheduling puts pressure on your emotional and mental well-being. One strategy for an “at home weekend”—-order all your meals in and schedule a “movie night”. Another tip would be to incorporate what you love to do when you are on vacation and interject some of what you love to do during the week.
2. Realize you are what you think
Another strategy is to watch the thoughts you think about yourself and others. Negative self-talk is a big no-no. Stop being judgmental about yourself. You are always evolving and changing. Give yourself permission to be you. Another strategy is to state self-love affirmations for your mental health and well-being. There are many wonderful books and sites that will give you helpful self-love quotes and affirmations for any situation you may encounter.
3. Get Out in Nature
It’s important to realize there is more to the world you live in than just work and home. Take a walk to explore what is around you and appreciate the planet you live on. If you feel there are not enough hours in the day, then another tip would be to use your lunch hour as a way to connect with nature.
4. Meditation and Exercise
Yes, I mentioned these earlier, but before you roll your eyes it’s important to note that mediation and exercise are powerful tools in holistic self-care for body and mind. Meditation can help to improve your mental state and does not require a lot of time. Exercise increases your endorphins and allows you to feel a sense of accomplishment and well-being.
Neither has to take up a lot of your time either. If you need a little more help meditating, try downloading a guided meditation. You’ll know exactly how much time you’ll take by seeing how long it runs. Give yourself permission to set aside ten or so minutes for this spiritual self-care ritual. For a quick exercise self-care ritual, pick out one of your favorite songs from that playlist I mentioned earlier, and give yourself a three minute dance party in the afternoon to get your blood pumping and your mood elevated.
The 5-3-1 Strategy
Ever have one of those days where you are just in a funk? Try the 5-3-1 strategy. It’s an easy self-care tip to break out of a bad mood.
- 5 Deep breaths
- 3 Things you are grateful for (write it down)
- 1 Random act of kindness you do for someone else or an organization that is meaningful to you.
Remember if you continue to struggle with moodiness, feeling upset, or lack of motivation to accomplish the simplest of tasks, make sure you consult a professional to help guide you.
Love Others by Loving Yourself
Every day we get of life is a blessing. It might not feel that way when we're sad and worried, or even just feeling flat and uninspired. We might believe that life will go on in the same dull (or turbulent) way as it’s always done. When that happens, we need to take a moment to gather our thoughts and look beyond the surface issues and connect with the peaceful resonance that can be found in each moment.
There is the now, this very moment you're reading these words. You have the power to embrace this moment as the starting point for a new journey. Yes, some doors may appear closed. But stepping back can give us a new perspective—one in which we can see which ways are still open to us.
Each of us has the power to decide which way we'd like it to be, going forward. We can make the decision to truly love ourselves and look after our own wellbeing. Once we do that, our perspective can change again and we will see how so many other things fall into place for us. Some problematic situations will take care of themselves. Once armed with the power of self-love, we are better able to completely and unconditionally accept others for who they are and where they are on their journey. In that accepting space, they oftentimes will grow, embracing the potential of their best selves.
When it comes to receiving love, we can always get out of our own way. Part of that involves faith in the Universe and the fact that giving and receiving love is our divine birthright. We have all experienced moments of beautiful synchronicities. Miraculously, out of nowhere, a question gets answered, a person arrives in our life, or our situation gets altered for the better. It is at these precise times that we connect to the truth we have always known in our hearts—something exists that larger out there that we will never fully understand.
There truly is a Divine action taking care of us when we feel we cannot. We can call it God, the Universe, or simply Energy. It is the experience of that power that moves you beyond the dense stuck moments, flowing you into freedom from whatever is holding you back. Trust in that larger force to help make the way clear as we take steps into an unknown but brighter future.
Be Happy with Yourself First
Instead of waiting on the one who fills all the hollow spaces inside you, you can make the decision to complete yourself and fill all those empty places with self-love. He/she might be just not that into you, but before worrying about that, you need to ask yourself how into yourself and your own wellbeing you are. You have what you need to feel at peace from the inside out. Start by embracing what is and dropping your attachment to what is not there. This is when Peace arrives. The knots holding you back are untied, and the path is open for you to connect to your own heart, which is where all the Love lives.
Psychic for Love
Want to talk more about Love or your Relationship? Talk with a Powerful Love Psychic today!