Love is an Inside Job. Do You Need a Love Psychic?

Published Date 2/20/2019

What are some of the ways you take care of yourself?

What are some of the ways you take care of yourself?

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Many have heard of the book and movie, "He's Just Not That Into You." and wonder if they can ever find love. My thought is to cut out the middle person so to speak, and learn to love and respect yourself first, then watch what shows up as a reflection of that deep inner journey. We take time to workout, to look good on the outside and how much time do we take to feel and look good on the inside? What if you were really into working on yourself first? What would that look like? What would you feel, so that you might know you were leading yourself towards the pot of gold at the end of your inner rainbow of loving onself.

The Importance of Self Care

I'm talking about self-care that feels beyond delicious, when you do it. That snuggles you all up in a feeling of yummy love that you've known all along, except for fact that it's always existed inside yourself. The kind that we yearn for from outside ourselves, and that never seems to arrive, but for the imposter reflections that say and do all the right things for seconds and then are gone, as if an actual mirage occurred. I'm talking about the type of taking care of self, that cherishes you from the moment you awaken, until the very second you're gently nudged back into sleep. The very same that would always call yourself back, when you've felt lost in that anxious and depressive sea of emotions. These feelings that steal hours and days of your precious life. That have distressed your heart so into feeling completely unbalanced and you wonder if you can ever find love again.

Examples of Self Care

Self care is a hot topic nowadays.  Most people would say “Well, I take care of myself.”  Self care is a conscious and deliberate strategy and activity that feels good. It brings us to a level of nurturing ourselves so we may give back to others. Of course, there are always the standard excuses “I’m too busy.  I don’t have time. Really, I’m fine.”  You are fine until you hit a brick wall of exhaustion or illness. To create balance in your life, you cannot ignore these 3 components of self care: physical, emotional, and mental. 

There are easy self care tips and strategies to get you back on track and create a life of balance on a physical, mental and emotional level. 

Let’s focus on the physical self care strategies:

1. You are what you eat!

How you fuel your physical body impacts your emotional and mental stamina.  Everyone gets busy and will tend to grab an easy snack, skip a meal, or ignore the fact that food and water should be considered a source of energy to help fuel you throughout the day.

One easy self care strategy is when you know you are going to have an extremely busy day or week that you pre-plan what you are going to eat.  There are plenty of alternatives for eating healthy.  There are services now where you can order your meals for a week and follow the directions to prepare and cook.  And, if that is not in your budget—-there are easy self care strategies to always have healthy snacks with you and pre-plan and prepare on Sunday what you will eat throughout the week.  

An overlooked fact is the amount of water you drink throughout the day.  Often you mistaken that you are hungry or tired when really your body is thirsty.  You can now buy BPA bottles that measure 72 ounces and fill it up with water and drink away.  Water helps to flush the toxins from your system and keeps your body hydrated. 

2.  Exercise

Exercise is something that helps not only with your physical body but also effects your mental and emotional wellness.  Exercise should be something fun that you love to do.  Walking, jogging, going to the gym, hiking, swimming, yoga, and dancing anything that gets you to move your body. You wouldn’t go throughout the day without brushing your teeth.  That would be icky—-so deliberately plan to move your body.  Be deliberate and schedule your time for exercise and switch it up so that it is not always the same activity.  Remember, get the blood flowing.

3.  Sleep

Getting enough rest is essential to be able to perform during the day.  Of course, there will be exceptions when you have a late night and are unable to get adequate sleep.  One alternative is to meditate for 10 minutes.  Meditation can often help refresh you when you have not had adequate sleep.  Also, digital detox before you go to sleep is important… one strategy is to turn the cell phone off, turn the computer off, turn the television off.

Emotional Self Care Strategies

Here are some self care tips and strategies to help you with your emotional well being.

1.  Meditation and Deep Breathing 

Meditation is a wonderful way to quiet the mind and to help overall relax the physical body.  If you combine meditation with deep breathing you can quickly overcome any anxiety that you encounter during the day. There are many ways to meditate.  You can take a class to learn meditation or go on-line and find tips and hints on how to meditate.  You can use nature as a form of meditation.  Taking a walk and focusing on the beauty of nature and the world around you is a very easy form of meditation.

2.  Music

Music is a wonderful self care strategy to lift your mood.  Listen to your favorite tunes while driving into work, working out or when you are in need of an extra boost of energy. In the same way, music can often calm the mind when you have had a busy day by listening to something low key and calming.

3.  Communication

Believe it or not one way to feel emotionally connected is to speak with a close friend or a loved one.  We spend way to much time on social media and to hear the sound of a friend or loved one’s voice brings not only a sense of connection but gives us a peaceful feeling of being loved and cared about.  Don’t wait for someone to call you—reach out and speak with those you care about.

4.  Laughter

Another self care tip is laughter!  There are enough  media services now where we can watch something that not only makes you laugh but it lifts your spirits to not take things too seriously.

Mental Healthcare Tips and Strategies:

1.  Time Off

It’s important to schedule some time off for yourself.  This can be a 3 day weekend, a vacation or a weekend where you do only things that you absolutely love to do.  Over scheduling puts pressure on your emotional and mental well being.  One strategy for an “at home weekend”—-order all your meals in and schedule a “movie night”.   Another tip would be to incorporate what you love to do when you are on vacation and interject some of what you love to do during the week.

2.  Realize you are what you think

Another strategy is to watch the thoughts you think about yourself and others.  Stop being judgmental about yourself.  You are always evolving and changing.  Give yourself permission to be you.  Another strategy is to state affirmations for your mental health and well-being.  There are many wonderful books and sites that will give you affirmations for any situation you may encounter.

3.  Get Out in Nature

It’s important to realize there is more to the world you live in than just work and home.  Take a walk to explore what is around you and appreciate the planet you live on.   If you feel there are not enough hours in the day then another tip would be to use your lunch hour as a way to connect with nature.

4.  Meditation and Exercise

Yes as you “roll your eyes” about meditation realize that meditation can help to improve your mental state and does not require a lot of time.  One strategy would be to download guided meditations and give yourself permission to set aside 10 minutes each day.  The other self care tip is exercise which increases your endorphins and allows you to feel a sense of accomplishment and well being.

The 5-3-1 Strategy

You are having one of those days where you are just in a funk?   The 5-3-1 strategy is an easy self care tip to get yourself out of this mind set is:

5 Deep breaths
3 Things you are grateful for (write it down)
1 Random act of kindness you do for someone else or an organization that is meaningful to you.

Remember if you continue to struggle with moodiness, feeling upset, or lack of motivation to accomplish the simplest of tasks, make sure you consult a professional to help guide you.

Appreciate the Present Moment

Every day we get of life is a blessing. It might not feel that way when we're sad and worried, or even healthy, simply living out our days, as though the end of our movie will never come. Acting out our particular stories believing life will go on endlessly, often only in the extreme turmoil we find ourselves. We can always "gather" as Kate Winslet spoke most effusively in her Golden Globe acceptance speech, as the joy of her moment seemingly overwhelmed her ability to communicate her gratitude, in the midst of all that rapturous bliss. She managed wonderfully. All to say, we're always there to be found, no matter the magnitude of emotions engaged in.

A peaceful resonance lies beyond the surface to behold. There is the now, this very moment you're reading these words. The one in which your heart can count on. The very same you can begin again, if only you could see that there is always a way through the door that appears closed. There’s an opening that simply eluded you in that particular perspective. Each of us has the power to decide which way we'd like it to be, going forward. We can realize how if we truly look after ourselves, how everything else will look after itself. We can notice that if we can completely and unconditionally allow others to be who they are in reality, they can then become more of what we'd love them to be. We can always get out of our own way of love, leaving the way clear as we take steps into that certain unknown. This is the faith we've all recognized at times, when miraculously out of nowhere, we could see the answer, a person arrives, or our situations are altered. It is at these precise timings, we're reminded of what we've always known in our hearts to be the truth, which is that something that we will never completely fathom does indeed exist.

Be Happy with Yourself First

There truly is a Divine action taking care of us, when we feel we cannot. We can call it God, the Universe, or simply Energy. It is that experience that moves you beyond the dense stuck moments, flowing you into freedom of that apparent prison. This path is always available to us. It's only a shift of perspective away from your grasp. It has been inside you all along. If you click your heels together three times, it might be a means to remind yourself of the home you have to share. It is the only love that radiates from your being, as you nurture the unique and most special individual you are. You can change any of your directions NOW.

Are you really completing yourself, or are you waiting on the one who will show you all the places you feel a lack of self love? He, She's just not that into you. Are you just that into yourself? We will be completed, have companionship, have all we need to be at peace, from the inside out. This will occur when the resistance of what is, is embraced and let go of. As I've heard it said, "Let go of everything you want and everything you don't want. " Ah, then Peace arrives, and you will have it all as you learn to love yourself first! The knots are untied and the path is cleared to the home of your heart, where all the Love is.

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