Let’s look a little closer at these 3 ways we make decisions:
1 - Upbringing is quite simply the way we were brought up, what we learned from our families and our family’s belief system. This is a powerful component and determines lots of what we think and believe later in life.
2 – As most of us know, experience can also be a great teacher. If you stick your hand on a hot stove, you most likely won’t do it again. You can read about something, hear about it on the news, but the actual experience is what drives it home and makes it unforgettably real for you.
3 - The last component is why we are here on Earth: our choices. After all, family nurturing may become ingrained in us, experience will hammer certain beliefs home, but our choices ultimately determine how our life takes shape.
So, taking this all a step further, when we see someone engaging in an act that is alien to what we know, judgement (upbringing) comes into play. Perhaps if we stepped back and seriously considered that the other person might also have an upbringing, beliefs and experiences different from ours, well… it might benefit us to think and reframe our thoughts before making any snap decisions.
The Story of Carl and Betty
Carl’s mother began cautioning him, continually asking him why he had decided to settle down with a woman who was 15 years older than him. Carl’s friends, although more supportive, spent less and less time hanging out with him. Little by little, the couple found themselves arguing. Betty began questioning Carl’s love for her. Carl began seeing the critical side of his bride.
After several months, Betty and Carl split up, both feeling miserable. They spent the rest of their days missing each other, and not quite understanding what had happened. All this evolved because of prejudicial ideas from family and friends who, should have been supportive, and happy that Carl had found his true love.
Bottom line, wouldn’t it be better if we weren’t so quick to judge, but rather considered that it might be our own thinking getting in the way of a valid and real emotional response. And quite possibly, in the way of someone else’s happiness. So the next time you rush to make judgement, consider the tale of Carl and Betty and always try to give someone the benefit of the doubt!