Use these three magical tools to help support your process:
FIRE: Grab a pen and two pieces of paper. On one page, write down everything you will not miss about this relationship. This list includes snoring, mouth open chewing, and boring family members. Be honest and truthful. No one is perfect and not everything about another person will be right for you, this list is the place for all of that.
On the other page write down all the best dreams you had for the relationship. Write down silly visions of running through the daisies and the more meaningful things too, like holding hands through your happily ever after.
Take both sheets of paper, a candle, and a bowl with a little water in the bottom outside. Tear a strip at a time from the pages, light each strip. As it burns say these words: "And this I now allow to go", and carefully drop the strip into the water. Strip, by strip, burn both pages.
When you have finished, dump the water under a bush or tree as an offering with these words: "To nourish you now, what I no longer need."
WATER: Fill the bath tub with hot water and about a half cup of table salt. Use your favorite fragrance or candles if you like. As you settle into the tub remind yourself that water absorbs. See the hot, salty water absorbing the remains of the relationship. Lie back and cry or be angry or jealous or hopeless. Let whatever needs to come up, come up. Allow the bath to absorb all of those feelings. Let the salty water draw it right out of your skin.
When you have finished, watch as the water drains away. Motion your hand toward the drain with these words: “And this too may now go.” Watch it all drain away and then pamper yourself with a scented lotion or a cup of something soothing.
CUT THOSE CORDS: Energy connects us like string, it makes cords between us and another person. Dump a handful of table salt into the toilet bowl. Use an Arrowhead if you have one, or a dull butter knife will do fine. Run the palm of your hand across your belly and grab at the hip as if you are holding a bundle of cords. Symbolically, cut those cords with your knife and drop them in the toilet. Do the same across your heart and the small of your back and anywhere else where it feels right. Cut those cords and when you are done, flush them away. Bye, bye now.
Breaking up is real grief and it is a process. Repeat these steps as often as needed to help your mind learn to grow beyond who you have been and on to the next journey of the heart.
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