1. Never use the word “should”. Not even when you’re having an internal dialogue. Replace it with “want” instead.
2. Never use “should have” or “should’ve”. Ever. From now on make it “Next time I WILL...”
This may be the nicest gift you will ever give yourself. You are going to change your internal (and outward) communication and you are going to be astonished at the result!
Salad vs. Pizza?
It feels good to give ourselves what we want so we do it. This is more than the “speak it into existence” tenet, when we change our internal dialogue we change our thoughts which changes our actions. This works and you become a happier, less anxious person. No longer will you look back over your day at the small failures and setbacks. You will look back happy and satisfied with how often you were able to give yourself what you wanted.
Which leads us neatly into the “should’ve” or “should haves”. From now on, all “should haves” in your world become “Next time I will... “If your regret comes from a situation that will never ever repeat itself, then why are you “should’ve-ing” yourself? It’s over, done, absolutely unchangeable and it is time to let it go. For all other situations, there is simply no productive, rational, or logical reason to ever “should have” yourself. If you find that your actions, inactions, or behaviors led to an undesirable outcome feel free to say that.
Positive Thoughts Breed Positive Energy
These two simple strategies will change your life. You’re going to be surprised at first at how many times a day you are using those two defeatist words. It’s time to be your own best friend and take control of increasing the positive energy in your life.
Talk with your advisor today about these and other strategies that lead to a happier, peaceful, and joyful you!