Do you fear change? A fear of change can include the fear of death, fear of loss, fear of being alone and even the fear of not being good enough. It trickles down into our lives through how we handle our careers, relationships and where we choose to live. Being afraid of change is linked with uncertainty. We fear the new because of the uncertainty it brings. Most people would rather be unhappy than uncertain. I am here to say don't be afraid of change. Change can be liberating and freeing on the other side of fear.
Many people stay in marriages and jobs that are unsatisfactory and unhealthy just for that reason. Our brains are wired to believe uncertainty is an error. We feel we have to correct that error before we can feel comfortable again. So, we stay put and suffer instead of getting to the core of the fears that are keeping us there.
Metathesiophobia – The Fear of Change
In order to face the phobia of change one must believe you have the competence for change. Many who suffer from metathesiophobia (fear of change) fear they won't be able to handle or thrive on the other side of a given change. Many also fear the process of being prepared for change itself and how painful it will be. If change makes you nervous know you are not alone and that is a very nature discomfort in our lives.
I have great compassion and empathy for the fear of change. For those who face this fear, it is very real. I have spent my life embracing uncertainty as change is constant and happens subtly, every day in some way, even if we are not aware of it. The fear of change in my own life led me to finding ways of embracing change and seeing it as an upgrade in my life. Getting involved with the change and choosing to find the gifts in this shift will make it feel that it is just not happening to you. Being fearful and unhappy at your core aligns with a fear of change. Happy people are more likely to create positive change.
Two points that assist working through the fear of change include:
1. We must believe you have the competence to handle change.
2. Understanding why the change is happening can make change easier to deal with.
Facing a Resistance to Change
Confronting the fear of change includes having a healthy self-worth and a core confidence within our self. With this comes the competence to handle change which includes learning to recognize and cope with negative thoughts and self-talk. This builds a new way of thinking and allows new beliefs to be incorporated into our way of life. It is wise to seek therapy or counseling if the past is still influencing your fear of change. Many times being raised in a toxic household or being in a past abusive relationship can leave us with immense grief, anxiety, or guilt which has a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves and our fears of experiencing these negative emotions again.
There can be a resistance to change if you don't understand the reason for it. Change causes uncertainty and that means pushing people out of their comfort zones. When we understand why it is not okay for a certain situation to continue as it is, we open up to less confusion and can see why the change is necessary and engage with it more positively.
Change is never perfect and once we recognize that there will be unexpected obstacles along the way during the shifting of our situation, we can be more realistic and prepared to meet those obstacles. Unexpected change can leave someone feeling powerless. When that happens it is important to remember we may not have control over the changes that came our way, but we do have control over how we deal with it.
I approach change from a spiritual place and yes it takes time and practice to go from a fear of change to embracing change. I will share some of the ways I continue to deal with change as change is to be expected. Being afraid of the unknown is debilitating and that is the greatest loss of power.
The message is simple: You are the creator of your own reality. You can choose to see things as they are or as they should be. Using your creativity and imagination, you can create something new out of nothingness. You can change your life by changing your perceptions and understanding. I am not talking about huge change. I'm talking about taking small action steps every day. The first step is the hardest, but it is also the most important one. If we want to step out of the fear of change, we have to be willing to try something different than what we have done before and that means stepping out of our comfort zone and into uncharted territory. This is the exact same belief and energy we must carry over into whatever change in our life we are fearing.
Let's take a look at a different way of approaching our fear of change through a few examples of some of our biggest changes in life that cause us fear.
Scared of Change in Relationship
This is the perfect time to break the fear down into steps. When we face the fear from a holistic place and slowly dismantle it into smaller pieces and approach one piece at a time it will cut down the anxiety. Look at what you will gain by leaving and focus on the possibilities for new doors opening bringing more peace and harmony into your life. The fears can be triggered by concerns about finances, a place to live and even being alone. When you approach each of these pieces with logical solutions you become more grounded and centered on what is possible and attainable rather than what you believe you are losing. Lastly having a support system during this change is crucial. This is the time to connect with family, close friends and even a therapist to help you walk through your fears with strength and clarity.
Fear of the Future
Do you have extreme anxiety over what's going to happen in your future? Because the truth is, the future is not set in stone. We create our future today by our thoughts, words, and actions. When we take ownership and responsibility for our future, we can cut out some of the fear because we are taking the steps necessary to co-create the outcome. We do have something to say about our future by the choices we make and our own mindset. Change your beliefs, change your life. Getting clarity on what we desire in our future and what it is going to take to manifest it is the first step. Meditating every day for 10 minutes or more can give you the clarity needed to release anxiety and allow ideas to surface. Staying present and being mindful is a practice. Besides meditation, breathing work, yoga, and tai chi are fabulous ways to bring balance into your life and stay present. The universe is a giving and supportive place. You do not have to live your life in fear and unhappiness. Find the courage to make the changes in your life to release fear and old beliefs and worn-out patterns.
Fear of Change in our Career or Workplace
We fear change because we can't anticipate the outcome. However, staying put can be riskier than changing. In overcoming fear in the workplace or in changing jobs/careers it is wise to remember that you do have skills to change and evolve. Fear is simply an emotion that gets in the way of the clarity of our potential. This fear requires us to embrace being imperfect. Part of life is not looking at change as failure but an opportunity to grow and change directions. This is a great time to focus on past positive outcomes that came from a change in the workplace or job. This can boost your confidence and remind you that you have done it before and everything turned out ok and in some cases better than ok.
Always maintain a positive attitude. Regardless of the new situation, it is always important to remain optimistic and maintain a good attitude through the changes. Taking positive action will help to lessen the fear of change. Research new opportunities that interest you and make a list of all the "dream" jobs you fantasize about. When we take action steps towards a goal with excitement and joy, we shift our energy and vibration to a higher level. This is where fear can be transformed into positive energy. This is where the magic happens, and the blessings and miracles show up! The great news is fear and action cannot coexist. In fact, research shows that humans can't focus on more than one thing at a time. So, once you are in the act of doing rather than fearing your fear fades away.
10 Tips on Overcoming Your Fear of Change
1. The number one thing to remember is that it is normal and okay to be afraid of change. Just don't let it interfere with your visions and your well-being.
2. Meditate. 5-10 minutes a day will assist you in feeling balanced and centered. Which in turn will give you a clearer perspective on your life and help to reduce fear and anxiety.
3. Spend time in nature every day. Fresh air will help clear your mind and feel more relaxed.
4. Let go of perfectionism.
5. Rely on your support system.
6. If the fear of change is debilitating you, it may be time to seek professional help.
7. Create a vision board of the things you desire to manifest into reality.
9. Take action steps that help you facilitate change.
10. Gratitude. Write down 10 things you are grateful for and keep the list handy to read when you feel a fear of change.
Mastering fear of change involves learning how to identify and change self-talk that is negative and fear based. Once you do that, there are no limits to what you can overcome and accomplish.
Feel free to reach out to me anytime if you would like to talk about your fear of change or explore the benefit of energy healing and tapping into your own power to change your thoughts and change your life.
Blessings and gratitude,