Pleasing Others Means You Get Left Behind

Published Date 9/16/2018
Category: Health & Wellness

Stop trying to do it all to please others

If you've spent your life pleasing others, you're probably feeling drained and depressed. The root of your people-pleasing behavior may stem from childhood or go back to a past life. You can explore this with a therapist or in a past life reading. One thing's clear — It's time to stop seeking validation from others and start standing up for yourself.

Learn to Say No

It's hard for people-pleasers to say "no." Toddlers say it all the time. So did you at 2 years old. Somewhere along the way, however, your lips became unable to form the word. Instead, "yes" started popping out all over the place. Yes, I'll organize the school fundraiser. Yes, I'll drive 10 miles out of my way to pick up your kids. People-pleasers run themselves ragged to make others happy. As a result, people take advantage of you and you're left exhausted and resentful. It's time to stop unhealthy people-pleasing behavior. Your health and well-being are at stake. It's OK to say no.

Stop Being a Punching Bag

People-pleasers seldom get the respect and love they crave. You try to please and get treated badly in return. So you try to do more, only to suffer more abuse. Ever noticed how self-assured people with a no-nonsense attitude are admired? That's because trying to please others reeks of neediness, and nobody likes a needy person. Those who don't care what others think garner more respect. Be authentic and stop trying to be who you think others want you to be. Soon, you'll start to attract people who like and accept you just as you are. The rest don't matter.

Start Putting Yourself First

By now, you should realize that constantly putting others first means you get left behind in the dust. It's time to stop pleasing others and start putting yourself first. No doubt, your immediate visceral response is to view this as being selfish. This is not a matter of selfishness, but of self-care. There's nothing wrong with helping others, but do so with some boundaries in place. You need to take care of yourself first. Only then will you be able to give your best to others. If you're feeling ill, politely decline a request and stay home until you're feeling better.

Accept That Not Everyone Will Like You

People-pleasers fail to realize they will never succeed at having everyone like them. It's an impossible goal, and you're only setting yourself up for failure. As poet John Lydgate said, "You can't please all of the people all of the time." Remind yourself of this every day until it sinks in. It's a simple truth. So stop depleting yourself trying. When you try to be liked, you lose yourself along the way. Instead, focus on nurturing your true self. Speaking to a clairvoyant is a great aide on your journey of self-discovery.

If you're stuck in a pattern of people-pleasing, it's time to break the cycle. It starts with loving and respecting yourself. Only then will you fully receive love and respect from others. 


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