We have a hard time accepting tears as a rite of passage to purge what could destroy our sense of wellbeing.
We shame those who cry at work, or at the dinner table, or out of nowhere.
We might hear:
“Aren’t you over this yet?’
Or “Man Up.”
Or even “Never cry in front of others or else they will think you weak.”
Whatever the denigrating comments, do not accept this patriarch and matriarch toxicity that has muzzled us for 1000s of years.
Heart attacks, strokes and other somatic examples of such suppressions rise. Think of a volcano that eventually explodes — nothing ever good comes out of suppressing true emotions.
Tears can come out of nowhere and when they do, realize that you might be purging a memory. We do store trauma both emotional, sexual, and physical within the cells of our bodies, so when tears come out of nowhere receive them with gratitude.
When tears come from anger or fear, allow them free passage.
If you cannot face others as you begin to feel the rise of those tears, please walk away to a private place — be it at work, family gatherings, or even shopping in a store. Walk away if you must.
Men need to know they are safe with you when they begin to weep so be that woman that gives her tears a safe harbor.
If you are a man, place your beloved upon your lap and rock her to and fro as she weeps — do not judge or scold her.
If you have a child that cries for no reason, allow the child to feel honored and allow them to articulate what is hidden within their hearts.
Judging, shaming, scolding or laughing off the tears have no place here.
Tears are the soul’s way, the body’s way, to purge what has been trapped too long. Let it flow out.
Take a shower, take a bath, bundle yourself up and listen to a healing guided mediation until the storm passes within you.
And you will find that when you honor your tears your feeling of power will come back to you double fold. You will feel lighter and that a small part of pain has been healed.
Step by step, tear by tear is the road to self-exploration, self-forgiveness, the shedding of regrets, and the shedding of self-loathing.
Tears are your ally in your quest for self-empowerment.
So have a good cry.