You may have memories of other places. For a split second you might recall there are lands not quite so gloomy. But at the moment, darkness is all there is.
You are in the depths of heartbreak, where you cry until you can’t cry anymore, and no matter how loudly you scream, or how much you scratch at the walls, you can’t escape.
What is on the other side of this darkness? Is there anything on the other side?
You’re smart, and you know that there is something on the other side. But here’s the thing- that’s not what matters right now, because that’s not where you are. You are in the darkness, and that is okay. We all find ourselves in the dark sometimes.
While you’re here, settle in for a while and get to know your surroundings. The pain you feel is real. The tears and tragedy and loneliness and grief are right there alongside you, and they hurt, big time.
The point of this article isn’t to encourage you to get back into the light, though. It’s to honor this time of darkness, to make it less foreign, less malicious. To see the terrible, grotesque beauty of sorrow, and to respect it.
There are tons of articles about how to get out of the darkness, or how to cope with it, and you can read those when you’re ready. But for now, thank your heart and soul for allowing you to experience these feelings. Thank your lungs for continuing to breathe, just breathe. Close your eyes and allow the darkness to wash over you. You may feel mournful or numb or confused or angry or resentful or lost.
And that’s okay.
Our society has learned to push pain down, to ignore it, to escape it through any and all means. We view grief as something bad, something to be avoided.
But the fact is, expressing grief is part of what makes us human. It’s part of what makes love and joy so meaningful, when we are lucky enough to experience them.
It just so happens that your grief is actually trying to communicate with you, but it fails to use language you’re familiar with. If you allow yourself the time and space to observe and listen to it, however, it may be able to help you grow.
You’ll find yourself back in the light someday. Until then, don’t be afraid to embrace your sorrow, and acknowledge your heartbreak.
Sending you love, strength, and courage during your time in the darkness,
P.S. If you are feeling suicidal, please don’t hesitate to visit or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).