How Do You Deal with the Loss of Your Spouse? by Psychic Source

Published Date 8/15/2013
Category: Loss & Grieving

It feels unbearable, but you can get through it.

Losing someone you love is always unbearable, but when this was your life partner and soul mate, it makes one feel like he or she has lost part of themselves. It's unlike any other loss, but the good news is, you can survive. No, it won't be easy. It will take time. But you can come out of this a whole and fulfilled person. Here are the steps you can take.

Fulfill Their Last Requests

Did your husband or wife ask for you to do something for them? If so, this is the perfect first step toward moving on.

After you've done what they asked for, you can know they're resting in peace and that you've done what you can. This frees you from the sense of helplessness that grief often brings.

Accept the Grieving Process

There are six stages of human grief:

   • Denial - you don't believe they're gone
   • Anger - you're mad they're gone 
   • Resentment - you resent the fact they left you 
   • Sadness - you know it happened, but it hurts 
   • Acceptance - you finally recognize what's happened and you're ready to move on 

Unfortunately, there is no way around these steps. You must allow yourself to pass through each stage. But recognizing each one as a natural, normal process does ease the discomfort a bit.

Don't Let Others Dictate Your Grieving Process

Even though these six stages are common to all grieving, no two people go through them the same way. Don't let anyone tell you you're not healing fast enough or you're getting over it too quickly.

Only you have walked through this road, and only you know when you're moving into the next stage. Let it happen, and avoid those who wish to dictate your grieving process.

Allow Yourself a New Life
When you have reached the stage of acceptance, allow yourself to be okay with it. Now it's time to build a new life to replace the one that left with your spouse. Things won't ever be the same, but that does not mean they won't be good.

Finding a new life doesn't mean you forgot them, or that your love for them was less than what it should be. It simply means that as a human, you've survived your grief and are ready to move on. Humans have the nature to move forward, living in the past is unnatural.

Get Involved in Other Interests

When you're ready - and only you will know when this time comes - find things to fill your time and energy in a positive way.
Many widows and widowers find companionship with a new pet. There's nothing like an adorable puppy, cute kitty, or lively bird to fill your time and warm your heart. Pet ownership is associated with a longer life span and a higher quality of living.

Others find purpose in volunteer work. You might enjoy helping people learn to read, or assisting at the local animal shelter, or helping out at the YMCA.

Some people dedicate their time to victims of natural disasters, or the homeless, or battered women and children. There are many needs in this world, and meeting one might give you a sense of purpose as you build a life of your own.

Above all, trust your gut. Your heart knows how to heal; just allow it time and space to do so.

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