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Divorce is a form of death when it comes to the ending of a serious relationship.
The idea of Death usually conjures up images of funerals or grave sites. No one wants to see a loved one go through any suffering or take their final breath. It robs us of physical connections which cause misery to those left behind. Yet Death has many faces and facets. Break-ups whether it be friendships, intimate relationships, or associations are also deaths. It is amazing that the Death card in Tarot is horrific to some psychic clients. It may bring fear of their death or a loved one. Mainly it is a symbolic meaning to signify the end of something.
A divorce is a good example.
Two people so in love at the beginning – non-stop plans, on the same page and ready to be with each other for the rest of their lives. They “know” each other, can finish the other’s sentences, make plans for marriage, children, etc. How did it go from best friend to the “stranger” that lives in the house? No longer can they rely on the other for anything!
Divorce Has to Be a Death
I know that sounds blunt, but here’s what I mean. Divorce deals with the person that is no longer the friend. It is dealing with trust issues, money, children, betrayals, confidences, personality clashes, and selfish behavior. It is like the other person becomes a stranger. How many issues were NOT dealt with before the marriage and now they are the chains that bind?
There is almost a hush after a person dies. God gives us time to grieve, to process the loss of a loved one, to release our emotions. Yet so many die a thousand deaths way before they leave this Earth. People just don’t see these as deaths. Sometimes the ending of friendships, work partnerships, families, and yes, divorces allows the wakening that a person really needs to live! Being away from toxic people and stepping into a new identity is like being reborn.
Divorce can be messy and unhappy. Lots of people fear being alone. Some tend to walk - no, let’s just say JUMP into another relationship. Here is the irony: if they didn’t deal with the issues from the marriage they just exited, the person that they just left show up again in the NEW relationship - a different face but mannerisms to sometimes facial characteristics will be VERY similar. And ta dah, the patterns and issues from the past come back because they weren’t dealt with the first time around.
Take Time to Grieve
To this day it baffles me to see people rush out of a divorce to start the crap all over again! A person still needs to breathe alone, sleep alone, be alone. There is beauty from pain that allows one to slowly close the gap between being a couple to being one again. To love someone again, a person needs to know that the passing of the other isn’t just going to be replaced without some comparisons to their past.
When you see a couple that have been married forever it is a testament to their endurance, patience, and respect (hopefully) for one another. It is especially more wonderful to honor in our world where being divorced has become so common in our society. After divorce, it is dealing with the mourning of life without the other person, there is paperwork and financial changes (half of the income), being a half of someone, sometimes even losing friendships acquired or obtained through the other person.
Death is Inevitable for Everyone
You may cheat Death but eventually it will take what it is due. Our souls live on through our energy is no longer physical, we can bring comfort to loved ones still on this Earth. Our small little Deaths that God lets us go through seem like the “end of the world”, yet we still get up every day. These are lessons that we are given to learn so that we are stronger, wiser, and more resilient. God only gives us what we can bear and just like the Phoenix we rise from the ashes to live another day.