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When people talk about being kind, we usually think about what it takes to be kind to others. There is so much unhappiness in this world that it makes sense we should be concerned with doing nice things for our fellow humans. I find that many people don’t take the time to be kind to themselves, however. It is very hard to have energy for others when our own energy runs low.
Many people I speak to think that doing kind things for themselves makes them selfish or somehow seem self-centered. But when we eat or wash our clothes, that is “taking care of ourselves” and we don’t feel selfish for doing that. Being kind to ourselves is just as important as eating. Kindness feeds our souls as much as food nourishes our bodies.
Be Kind to Yourself!
There are many ways to be kind to yourself. Working out and eating healthy are some of the biggest “go to” things people banter around when you hear about “taking care of yourself.” I am not saying those things aren’t important. But sometimes you must think about dealing with yourself as if you were dealing with your very best friend in the world.
If your best friend was hurting or having a bad day, what would you do for him or her? Would you take them to a spa? Would you take time out of your day to bring them something they like if they were sick? Would you get them tickets and take them to the movie they have been waiting desperately to come out? Of course, you would take the time to do any of those things for your best friend if that person was unhappy.
You wouldn’t think twice about making sure to make that person smile and make their day better if you could. Well some days, you need to look yourself in the mirror and see that you need to be your own best friend.
What happens if you don’t have the time or money to do something special for yourself like that? Well, there are other ways to be kind to yourself, but they can be a bit more challenging.
Silence your Inner Critic
Stop being your own worst critic. When you do something and your first instinct would be to think “wow that was stupid” stop and ask yourself would you say that about your best friend or child if they did the same thing? No, because you wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings. Yet most of us spend our entire days listening to a very harsh inner critic that doesn’t blink at hurting your feelings.
Telling yourself you are okay as you are, or you are enough, just exactly as you are can be some of the hardest things to do and to believe. But it will pay off in spades if you try. Allowing yourself to make mistakes without criticizing is equally hard, but equally good for your mental and emotional well-being. It may sound trite but you can’t be there for all the people in your life if you aren’t there for yourself first.
When your energy is low or you feel drained by all the stresses in your life, my main suggestion is to be kind to yourself, in whatever way you can manage that day.
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