"To set yourself up for success, choose one thing that will help the others fall into place."
“How long do you have?,” she thought matter-of-factly, “Do you have until February to get back on track? Or realistically, only the entire month of January?”
Obviously kidding, but it’s true that many of us feel this way: “I totally botched my resolution…guess there’s always next year.” In reality, there is no set time frame that you have to get back on track. If you fall down, get back up! It’s OK to set intentions and fail! Failure is the best teacher. Why not make spring-time your “fresh start”?
So we know Ms. Spelling’s re-jumpstarting her intentions for 2018, but I was curious of her past resolution track record. Did she have any that went incredibly well or failed miserably?
“I honestly don’t think I’ve ever had a resolution that’s gone well. I choose resolutions that have the least resistance and I tend to choose the same ones every year. But this year when my husband called me on it, it was one of those things I was like wait—no one’s ever called me on my New Year’s resolutions. It put so much into perspective. He’s like, ‘Didn’t you just say you’re going to be on time?’”
Her daughter Stella wants to get her a watch. “My whole life I’ve never worn a watch, and I’m late to everything—talk about self-sabotage! I always thought, ‘I can get anywhere in 15 minutes.’ That wasn’t a reality then and it’s definitely not a reality now.”
A few weeks into the year, she fell back into the same behavior and recognized it immediately: “I know I’m not the only one who does this. You can’t expect to keep doing the same thing and get a different result. You have to change.” Isn’t that the definition of insanity?? This is why Psychic Source replaced resolutions with intentions this year (it’s all making sense now)!
By putting it out there, Tori’s Instagram post made her feel accountable. “Instead of just saying it, I needed to put it in words that I can reference.” And her Instagram caption was bold: “Change doesn’t happen because we want it. Change doesn’t even happen because we say it. Change happens when we actually start doing it.”
While many of us realize the importance of accountability and failure, I’ve yet to touch on the most difficult part: How do you hold yourself accountable, learn from the failures, and make change happen?
Tori quoted an awesome analogy by one of her close friends: “Anchor yourself somewhere so you can be accountable for yourself. I see myself as a ship and I throw an anchor overboard. I can visualize it latching on.”
The mom-of-five admitted the ship terminology didn’t resonate with her as much as that of a tree with its roots planted deep in the earth. She visualizes herself and her husband, Dean, as the base of the family tree with their children as the limbs. Tori equates this analogy to the importance of setting examples. How can you tell your kids to be more organized when you’re not organized yourself? She doesn’t expect change from them if she doesn’t change herself.
For now, she’s aiming for small wins. Since writing things down helps with accountability, the family got a white board so they can write their intentions and see them daily. “To set yourself up for success,” she explains, “choose one thing that will help the others fall into place.”
Most importantly, be forgiving and accepting of yourself. YOU ARE ENOUGH. We cannot work hard without rest and reward. Tori spent much of 2017, as she usually does, trying to juggle anything and everything which can be utterly draining.
“I felt like my energy was shifting a lot in 2017—it was kind of uneven and inconsistent; ebbs and flows. I remember looking at my husband a few days before New Year’s and I’m like, ‘I just can’t…I’m done,’ and he’s like, ‘That’s OK! You need to have down time. Even if it’s just within—you’re not the only one.’ And I just felt super recharged with the New Year. 2018 feels a lot more positive energetically for me.”
After taking a figurative deep breath after 2017, the expert multi-tasker is already excited to dive back into working on new creative endeavors in business, TV, and acting. Admittedly, I asked Tori if she was willing to share details on upcoming projects, but all she could tell me was that she’s collaborating with long-time friend Jennie Garth. Hey, at least we have another thing to look forward to in 2018!
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