Moving past a traumatic experience requires time and healing.
Moving Past the Trauma
After the physical healing, began the process of mental healing. What is meant by mental healing is working on changing the inner dialogue in your head that has developed due to the trauma(s) that you had experienced. It is a difficult thing to begin to become aware of the interior dialogue that is almost always ongoing inside our own minds. However, in becoming aware of that dialogue you can begin to change it for the better.
Visualize grabbing a hold of the negative thoughts and then setting up logical arguments of why that thought wasn't a truthful perception of yourself or the situation. For example, if you were to think, "No one wants to be around me because I'm always so sad." you would then contradict that thought by saying, "No, that's not true. Jenny wanted to get together with me for lunch. Lisa wants to get together for a scrapbooking session." or whatever else was going on in your life at the time. This takes time to learn and get easier with practice. Lots of practice!
Heal the Soul
This is not about blaming yourself for the abuse, but instead about accepting responsibility for your own choices that were made at that time. Remember that you need to be kind and forgiving of yourself and your actions that you did or did not take during the trauma. We can only make decisions based on the knowledge we had during the original trauma.
During this stage of healing it is also important to release the shame and embarrassment that may have accompanied the trauma. A good tool to help you do this is to ask, "If my best friend told me this story, what would I tell them?" We are almost always harder on ourselves than on someone else that we care about.
Healing trauma takes time, patience and lots of healing. But if you work to improve, just one day at a time, you are strong enough to get over any hurdles life throws at you!
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