LGBT Relationships and the Aftermath

Published Date 6/3/2012
Under: Psychic Topics

It can seem like a risk to be honest about relationships.

Lifestyles of Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender (LGBT) are difficult, and relationships can vary a great deal.  Many make up their own rules as the relationship grows; many LGBT relationships are freer than heterosexuals to create relationships that work for them rather than ones based on social conditioning.  LGBT’s have to deal with the existence of homophobia and can present an obvious pressure and strain on the relationship.  Many LGBT relationships suffer under the critical eyes of homophobic family and peers.  Arguments about whether or not to come out, and with whom and when can occur.  Even when there is an agreement not to be out, there may be differences between LGBT partners about how far to go to hide the relationship.  Where only one partner is out, the repeated denial of the existence of the relationship may leave the other partner feeling hurt, insecure, and unloved.  The one who isn’t out may even blame and resent the partner who serves as a reminder of secrecy and feelings of guilt.  This brings on depression, irritable, and unhappiness.  Hurt and angry feelings can lead to arguments, insecurities, and the stability of the relationship.

It sometimes feels like a risk to be honest about relationships-as if there is an unspoken myth that all LGBT’s relationships are perfect and the same.  If ours doesn’t measure up to the ideal model, there must be something wrong.  Humans forget we do not live in a perfect world.  LGBT’s have existed since the beginning of time; they just didn’t pop up until later.  Society makes it hard, but what really matters is the relationship between the two of you.

What I share with my customers, relationships need to be worked on every day and its hard work, but worth the effort.  Sometimes the inclination can be to suppress differences that arise, worried that something is wrong with the relationship.  Suppressing differences only leads to fighting, undervalued differences, which leads to resentment and can dampen sexual desires.  Imbalances lead to despair, frustration and more arguments.  Noticing, talking about and appreciating differences can prevent all sorts of problems.

Adding such things as race, culture, age, are additional hurdles for LGBT’s to cross.  Adding the reality too often even LGBT’s friends can be critical and unsupportive.  My suggestions to LGBT couples: look at the big picture, agree to disagree instead of arguing, mutual understanding works, work on the difficult issues and come to an agreement.  Support each other’s needs at all times, what matters is each other’s feelings.  Listen to each other’s wants desires and talk out your differences.  Communication is a big DEAL!

Author's Photo by Torri x8875

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