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Why Modern Romance Requires Healthy Boundaries in Relationship by Psychic Ivanka

Date 3/1/2023
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Some of the most frequently asked questions that we hear as psychic advisors involve the caller asking about the feelings of their person of interest. By far, the caller is unaware of the other person’s interest in their connection. Those callers are often in ‘no contact’ with the person they are asking about yet they are still loyal, committed, and connected to some degree to the other person. 

It is easy to be cynical about connections that don’t seem to exist at all. However, things happen in the spiritual realm that cannot be explained by surface level knowledge. As a psychic advisor, I find myself confirming that there are spiritual connections between two people who have barely any contact in their daily life. Emotions run high and callers are curious because they already know that something is happening between themselves and the other person, they just don’t know how to handle this type of connection. 

Healthy Boundaries

3 Things that Make a Spiritual Connection Very Difficult to Navigate 

  1. The first is that intense emotions should be followed by action. “Follow Your Heart” might be the worst advice that is given in scenarios where there is an intense spiritual connection. Spirit is not your heart. The intensity one feels is usually in direct correlation to the size of the lesson that you are being taught. 
  2. The second thing is that if you love someone things will always work out in the end.  Things do work out in the end, but not always the way the caller believes they should. 
  3. That brings us to the last lesson that often leads to disillusion and pain. The person that you feel connected to will not always love, respect, or acknowledge you. That person’s capacity to be half of a healthy relationship is not a reflection of anyone’s worthiness. 

It is difficult to believe that someone doesn’t value the gift of love, but there are endless reasons why your love may not be reciprocated. Even if it is reciprocated, it might not be presented in the way you expect. The focus on the other party giving us what we believe we deserve and giving love in the way that we expect is evidence of poor boundaries and disregard for another person’s experience. There is a tremendous amount of entitlement involved in expecting a person to be fair, available, able, and willing to do things exactly the way we envision.  Even when there is a genuine spiritual connection, the person of interest will respond in the ways they understand.   

Healthy Boundaries

Prioritizing Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

It is important to recognize that our expectations are specific to us, they are not the universal rules of relating. We all learn about how people relate early in life. What we learn about connections tend to be revealed when a connection is unstable and/or unpredictable. The best way to limit the emotional distress that comes with a strong but unsatisfying connection is to prioritize healthy boundaries at the beginning.   

Those healthy boundaries begin with you and will work for you regardless of another person’s issues and limits.  In fact, you can avoid a toxic connection before it has a chance to begin. 

  • First, you decide what you want in a relationship. 
  • Second, you decide what you will do in a relationship. 
  • Third, you decide what you will accept from another person. 
  • Finally, you decide if you even want a relationship or not. 

Unestablished boundaries put a person at the mercy of another person who does not have their best interests in mind. It is even worse when the other person takes advantage of the weak boundaries of another. When the boundaries have been violated, you must be willing to disconnect. Too often people question themselves at this point of a connection.

Healthy Relationship Boundaries

How a Psychic Can Help Identify Relationship Boundaries

We usually learn how to handle unstable connections from experience. The calls that we take as psychic advisors might be the first time the person has ever discussed their feelings about what is happening to them. Psychic advisors have to be neutral; we can only tell you what we see from our tools and insight. We can give you an idea about the direction that the connection is going. The caller decides if a final decision has to be made and they decide what that final decision will be. The pressure to give the caller answers is something that we feel every day. Part of the reason that callers might feel uneasy making that decision for themselves is the lack of boundaries that lead to the problems at hand. Ultimately, we are responsible for what we accept into our lives, no one else has to live with our choices. 

Setting Boundaries in Relationships

It would be nice if we all learned about establishing boundaries and had a full understanding of personal responsibility by a certain age, but most of us learn from experience. When your personal space has been violated or your right to choose for yourself has been blocked, you might never know what to do with an unpleasant relationship. Our first connections in life inform all of the rest of our relationships. For those who had to set firm boundaries early in life, it might be difficult to be vulnerable later. For those who never learned to set boundaries, it will be difficult to know when and how to establish limits. Families and caretakers are usually the first influences on how to take care of ourselves or if it is even possible to do so. 

The blueprints that we get in the beginning of our lives are used later in friendships and intimate relationships. Everyone’s comfort zone is different when it applies to how close or distant one wants to be with another person. There is a process of trial and error in dating and socializing. Learning about what we don’t want is very different from learning what we won’t accept. That is the dilemma that we hear about most often. The situation is painful, but the caller is unable to detach. The caller is also unwilling to look at their own attachment patterns and how that might be affecting the situation. Magic, willpower, and prayer really might help, but the more practical approach is to look at both parties involved and change the only one that you can control.  

Respecting Boundaries in a Relationship

Respecting Boundaries in Relationships

Recognizing that another person cannot be controlled will save a lot of time and heartache. Just like healthy boundaries can protect you, another person might find the need to enforce boundaries for their own reasons. Everyone’s boundaries should be respected but often we are asked about how to make a person listen or return to a connection. Even worse there are inquiries into another person’s marriage or relationship to see how the connection can be breeched – all because a person chose to do something different than the requester wanted. All anyone can do is choose for themselves. 

Psychic advisors constantly mention free choice and point out where decisions have to be made during readings, yet we meet resistance that Spirit, nature, and the other person are not bending to someone’s will. Just like we have to put up boundaries to protect ourselves, other people will sometimes do the same to us. It is their choice. Everyone has the option to say yes and to say no. No one wants the sting of rejection but those painful moments are turning points, life lessons to highlight things that we can change. Taking the time to observe a person as well as observe our own impulses can be very enlightening. 

The purpose of relationships is not to grow our egos, but to regard another person and learn about how much of your lives can be lived together. Every person is not meant to be in your life forever. Releasing them can be difficult, but it is necessary. Having boundaries in place from the beginning reminds us of where WE begin and the other ends. Remember, we have the privilege of focusing on the only one we can control – our own self. 



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Ivanka has been doing professional psychic readings for 25 years and uses tarot, oracle, and playing cards for readings on Psychic Source. In addition to developing her intuitive skills and studying the occult, she has advanced degrees in Psychology and Statistics. Ivanka’s hobbies are gardening, cooking, camping, and playing bridge.


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