Just the idea of relationship rejection is enough to make most wince in angst. But what is that feeling? What is it about how to deal with rejection that makes bouncing back so difficult?
Whenever we extend our love out, and it is not returned, this is not just painful, but it can have lasting influences on all relationships. When a lover rejects your love, it can reshape your personal view of yourself from positive to negative. Feeling rejected starts with your level of EQ, your Emotional Quotient. Constant rejection can have lasting effects on the psyche and emotional well-being of an individual. Begin dealing with rejection by learning the keys to what makes you desirable, what rejection is, and what rejection is not. Take back your personal power and learn how to handle rejection like a pro. Master the art of being you, unapologetically, and begin dealing with rejection.
Don’t Make Feeling Rejected Personal
First thing’s first, you need to understand that you are not undesirable. When you are rejected by a loved one, you may begin to think that it’s something offensive about you, but this is not always the case. The first step to being able to manage rejection is to not make it “personal.” Most times, when someone is rejecting another, it is something they are personally going through rather than it is about the other person. They could have just received unwelcome news, may be in physical pain, or exhausted from a long day’s work. The point is not to always just make things about “you.” Keeping a balanced mindset is key to your confidence and knowing who you are is central to boosting your self-esteem.
My Hot Mantras
Developing a positive self-image is crucial to your emotional well-being and will help you rebound much more easily the next time when faced with rejection. To do this try this exercise called My Hot Mantras. The purpose of this exercise is to fortify the subconscious mind with a positive self-view.
Write a list of exactly 31 words that describe you.
Do not repeat words and try not to use words with close similar meanings. Choose words that compliment your uniqueness, intellect, personal style, and physical attributes. If you get stuck, ask loved ones what they love about you.
Once you have 31 words, write each word on paper, and cut it out.
Add these papers with your words into a small bowl or box.
Place conveniently so that each day throughout the month, you select one word, preferably early in your day.
Give yourself a compliment using this word. Repeat this compliment to yourself each time you look in the mirror and throughout your day.
Put the used words inside a second box and when the month ends, shake it up and start the process all over again!
Another Way to View Rejection
Rejection should not be viewed as something that is negative. Rejection comes with great benefits such as valuable life lessons. Perhaps the biggest value that rejection provides in our lives is in the form of protection. Rejection can also be viewed as a form of spiritual protection. Often when our Guides want to redirect our attention towards a goal that is more aligned with our true desires, they will swat away opportunities that do not serve our highest good. This can occur in the form of rejection from a potential job opportunity, an application for a loan, or even with a new lover. One of the ways we develop our emotional resilience against rejection is by understanding what rejection actually is. Rejection means realignment and redirection to your true path.
Try these journal prompt questions to determine how your subconscious mind views and responds to rejection.
Instructions: Answer the following questions in a journal.
Question 1: What feelings do you associate with rejection? When was the last time you were faced with rejection? How did you react?
Question 2: How do you typically react to rejection? Does reacting this way make you feel empowered or weakened?
Managing Rejection in Relationships
Once you have established a strong enough mindset of a positive self-image, you learn not to make things just about yourself. The next time you encounter rejection from your loved one, try asking what is on their mind. Communication is as key as self-confidence. Do not get defensive, instead, try to get to the core of what may be distancing your partner at that moment. Do they have a lot on their mind, are they overwhelmed or dealing with hidden anxieties? Create a comfortable environment for your partner to express what their needs are and just listen. Try not to interrupt or respond until they have completely expressed their feelings. Offer ways to be supportive. Suggest trying new activities together to reconnect your intimacy. Starting something new can add the spark back into the relationship.
Six Additional Tips on Managing Rejection
Here are some magical ways you can begin transforming the way you handle rejection. Learn how to bounce back on your feet quicker when faced with being rejected by a loved one (or any circumstance!) Overcoming rejection will become easier each time once you employ one or multiple of the following suggested tips:
- Try therapy. This can be in the form of group, couples, anonymous, or 1:1 sessions. It is important to find a safe place where you can talk out your emotions. Being able to speak freely and securely about how you feel is the first step toward inner reflection. This teaches us personal development through emotional intelligence and fortifies our emotional securities.
- Separation. The old saying is true, absence does make the heart grow founder. Trying a short separation can be crucial in allowing relationship challenges to settle. Giving one another space to think, and the process can give clarity on what your personal desires are and boundaries that need to be set. Be sure to discuss the terms of what is “allowed” during this separation so that you and your partner’s expectations are in alignment.
- Take a trip. Traveling is a perfect way to welcome freshness into a relationship. This can be a solo trip as well or one taken with friends. The key is to step away from your usual day-to-day. If traveling with your partner, plan a trip that is romantic and has a full itinerary of things you both love to do. This way you get lost in the fun of it all and forget your problems at home.
- Open up your social circle. One of the most attractive things about a person is their unavailability. If you find that you spend most of your time with your partner, switch it up! Learn new hobbies that will introduce you to like-minded souls or fill up your appointment book with friend dates from your existing social circle. Expanding your social group will provide a passive break from spending as much time around your partner.
- Get Reiki therapy. Schedule a session with one of our Reiki practitioners or find a local practitioner of your liking. Reiki is the use of energy to help heal traumas that are found within the Chakras. The Chakras are the energy bodies that help keep us in mental, physical, and emotional alignment. Working with a Reiki practitioner will help heal emotional wounds, allowing for rebalancing within the heart’s center. Try a couple’s Reiki attunement to strengthen the bond between both you and your partner.
- Write a letter of forgiveness. This letter can be addressed to anyone, including yourself. Think of a time when you were hurt by rejection. Write out how this made you feel. Allow yourself to connect deeply with those emotions. Explain in this letter how this rejection made you feel. Close the letter by stating words of forgiveness to them. Add that you also forgive yourself. Finalize your letter by writing that you “release this pain, fear, and story.” You can choose to bury the letter, tear it to pieces and flush it, or safely burn it.
The biggest lesson that rejection teaches us is the value of Self-Love and understanding. Never give your power away by allowing others to decide your worth and value. Remember, to not take things personally when faced with rejection and to talk it out. Communication with a helpful serving of confidence is vital to healthy relationships and your ability for overcoming rejection.