People grow up believing that someday, a bigger than life, perfect person will come and rescue you from your lonely existence and give you love, abundance and happiness. This concept is so pervasive that they even have a name for it: "The One". Once the haze of romance is lifted, people realize that their loved ones are smaller than they thought and are surprised that they in fact cannot give you the fantasy life you hoped would happen.
Here are some thoughts to consider when you are in a loving relationship:
1. Are you making your partner the center of your life? If you are, then you are putting undue pressure on him or her to be something they are not. This is a sure-fire way to kill any lasting romance between you two.
2. Are you idealizing your partner? Immediately stop this destructive practice. The truth is, no such person exists. Your lover is only human, with their own unique flaws.
3. Are you insisting that your partner change for you? The only person that you can change is you. You can suggest changes to your partner but ultimately it is his or her decision to change, and they will do it when they are ready, not when you ask it.
4. Are you confusing love with loving feelings? Love is like any emotion. It comes and goes depending on how you feel that day. Do not confuse boredom, irritation and disappointment with falling out of love. Love is a choice, a commitment to stick with your partner despite your varying emotions.
Many successful relationships involve practicing these key concepts in their lives. You will find that not only will you have more peace of mind, but a growing, thriving love relationship based on mutual respect and realistic expectations.
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