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Dealing with grief at the holidays takes time and healing.
It is the holiday season again but not all hearts will be merry and light. Some will be fearful, depressed, angry or feel abandoned because of the loss of a loved one. Death always comes as a surprise, even when it is expected. And when it comes suddenly, it is always an unwelcome guest.
One of the most difficult things that we will learn to do in our lives is to grieve the death of our parents, children, close relatives, lovers, spouses and friends whom we love. When loss happens arrives around Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas or Yule, what is already unbearable becomes even more difficult. During the holiday season, we are constantly being bombarded by loud music, laughter and cheer that we really do not want to hear. We want to be alone somewhere, quietly managing our pain. What else do we have to look forward to?
Nevertheless, even in our deepest, darkest sorrow, there is one thing that we must do despite our suffering. We must continue to live. How we live after a great loss is critical to our health and well-being.
Here are my three fundamentals for living during a sorrowful time:
Step 1. Maintain your physical health.
First, eat light, or drink your meal, even when you have no appetite. A meal replacement drink such as Ensure or Boost will provide the necessary nutrition of one meal. Also, have “live” foods, vegetables and fruit, preferably raw. That way you will not have to worry about cooking and you will be eating healthily. Go light on the meat-eating. Red meat has to be cooked. It is heavy and can bring you further down emotionally from where you are already. Don’t forget to drink plenty of water, preferably at room temperature. Water calms mind, body and spirit. Also, move your body. Stretch and twist lightly to keep stiffness away. Stiffness is a form of pain. Who needs more unnecessary pain during a time of sorrow?
Step 2. Maintain your emotional health.
Cry, cry and cry some more, if you feel the need. Write down your thoughts and feelings on paper. Then, without reading it, flush the paper down the toilet or burn it at the sink. Flushing the paper or burning it releases layers of bad feelings not yet realized. Also, share with a support group or a supportive group of friends and family.
Step 3. Maintain your spiritual health.
Meditation, prayer, chanting and spiritual counseling help you to re-align your spirit with a loving, positive spirit and healing one, away from the sorrowful spirit. A true psychic medium
also does this by connecting with the loved one and providing answers only the loved one could provide.
These three steps are a tremendous help with the grieving process. To help yourself heal from the death of a loved one at the holidays or anytime it happens, you must first choose to live and then take these fundamental steps.
Peace and Blessings,