We are not our beliefs. Our beliefs can dictate and influence how we behave and engage with our environment and other individuals, yet they are not necessarily permanent parts of our personality.
As a psychic, I have the position of talking to many individuals who are looking for answers. Many of the individuals I work with are stuck in a one-sided relationship or believe they cannot acquire true love or the type of work they desire because of how they view themselves. Many clients do genuinely think that they are destined to die alone or be stuck in a dead-end job or loveless relationship due to how they see themselves
However, as if we hold on to certain beliefs, we will make choices that hold us back and keep repeating self-sabotaging cycles, such as dating the same type that cheats on us or remaining in dead-end jobs. Our beliefs keep us from making better changes or getting involved with an individual we assume we do not have a chance with. The good news is that we can also learn ways to change regardless of what we believe in.
Yes, Change is Possible
According to psychologists, change is possible, which is why individuals do improve from therapy. Regardless of how old you are and how stuck you may feel; we are all capable of changing our patterns and achieving great things - the key is to learn to work past our beliefs and how we are used to thinking.
We need to change our beliefs because they are often the root of our pain and limited lifestyles. Our viewpoints do not only hold us back and keep us from achieving goals, but it also keeps us locked in a vicious cycle of pain and feeling powerless. Therefore, it was vital to examine how we maintain our lives in a cycle of repetitive pain and struggling by seeking assistance and ways to change.
Self-Inquiry During Painful Situations
Several sources can assist you in achieving positive changes and breaking free from your internalized limits. One specific technique is taken from Bryon Katie’s work on Investigating Limiting Beliefs Using - The Work. There is a valuable method developed by Byron Katie which uses the process of self-inquiry involving the following questions whenever we are facing painful situations.
- Is it true?
- Can you absolutely know it’s true?
- How do you react/what happens when you believe the thought?
- Who would you be without the thought?
Now let’s explore this method further. Let us take the questions above and apply them to the area of love and the belief we are doomed to being unhappy in love.
- Is it true you are doomed, and why? Is it based on the past? If so, does the past have to be true for the future?
- Can you absolutely know your past will always influence your future, primarily if you work on making changes?
- What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of these things? What is your reaction?
- Who would you be if you did not continue to maintain this thought or belief? Now let’s take it further; what would you be like if you did not believe you were unable to attract love?
The possibilities are endless. Many of my clients have realized that learning to see themselves as worthy and capable of being loved is essential in improving the quality of love they attract. Often something as simple as recognizing that we often fall for a type because that is what we can help alter our relationship patterns. Knowing you do not have to date the same type will free you of repetitive relationship patterns—for instance, the tendency to date individuals who are broken and are unable to express love. Also, many individuals have been without a romantic relationship for so long that when someone finally arrives expressing interest, all they can see is the interest and overlook the capability, which in turn, can potentially be the foundation for a horrible relationship.
Our views do not need to remain stuck on past patterns, nor do we need to date a type simply because it's easier to manage since it's familiar to us.
15 Keys to Changing Limiting Beliefs
The key to changing our limiting beliefs begins with the following:
- Recognize your patterns
- Focus on self-care
- Keep a journal to track patterns, reactions, and emotional states
- Practice self-compassion
- Avoid blaming others for your choices by taking back your power
- Pay attention to red flags
- Focus on changing yourself instead of others because the patterns are yours
- Be transparent with yourself; in other words, be completely honest with yourself
- Learn to set healthy boundaries. It is vital to respect your limits and let others know what they are.
- Do not fear making mistakes because mistakes help us grow
- Seek objective assistance from a professional to help you see things clearly
- Learn to let go since over-worrying and holding on does not serve anyone
- Remember, every person is fighting their own battles, so do not take things personally
- Stop settling just to avoid being alone
- Be patient with yourself, recognize change takes time
Our limits do not need to impede us forever. However, the more aware you are about your personal restrictions, the more you can improve and change how they impact your life. The primary key in creating change is inner honest and consistency in adjusting your views. You do not need to be stuck forever in your patterns, but you do need to give yourself a chance to move forward.