For years, I told everyone that all was forgiven, without even knowing the true meaning of forgiveness. I allowed myself to believe that they didn’t understand the misery they put on me and I moved on. Meanwhile, I lost all faith in myself, adopting everyone else’s negative view points. I stopped trusting people. But worst of all, I didn't trust myself. I accepted their poison and settled for a tiny ray of sunshine feeling like I wasn't worth the whole beacon. It wasn't until I met my husband that I woke up.
He showed me that I wasn't the girl my family claimed—I was the exact opposite. I didn't deserve to be physically and emotionally abused. I was smart, caring, and compassionate. I was starting to find peace and true happiness within myself.
This blossoming caused my family to strike at me in many hurtful ways until I was forced to stand my ground. When my husband and I announced we were getting married, my family reacted like a wild lion that escaped from its cage. They slashed and roared at me with negative intentions and comments.
"It's clear you don't want me in your life anymore," my mom wrote on my Facebook.
Anger lashed within me as I finally had the courage to fight back, and I responded, "You’re right, I don't."
Years of poison started to resurface and I had to get help. I was able to finally process through the pain and let go of it. It was all like a bad dream. Once I finally woke up I saw my purpose in life and started chasing my dreams. I was free. I was able to fully let go and forgive instead of holding it all in. Spirit gave me true blessings and incredible gifts in life. In return I want to light up the dark and help both the living and the deceased rise from the ashes, let go of the darkness, and move forward.
11 Steps That Helped Me Achieve Spiritual Forgiveness:
1) The hate you feel inside only affects you—not them.
2) The best revenge is your ability to let go so that you can live a happy and successful life.
3) The second revenge is turning the darkness into something positive and beautiful.
4) Make a list of all the good that came from this.
5) Look for helpers to get you through, such as counselors, friends, spiritual healers, etc.
6) Be compassionate towards yourself. Healing and forgiveness takes time especially if it has years of buildup.
7) Learn the meaning of forgiveness. Forgiveness is for YOU, not them.
8) Learn how to balance trust with wisdom.
9) Stop telling the story.
10) Pray for them all the time. If you light up the dark there is no place for darkness, allowing the presence of the loving light in.
11) Maintain perspective (whatever actions may have been done to hurt you keep in mind that is still somebody's sister, mother, grandmother, etc. and your reactions to their actions could hurt others around you).
If you want extra support working towards achieving forgiveness in your life, you might be interested in this free podcast on Forgiving Yourself and Others. Download it to your phone or iPod and let this guided meditation clear the way to an open heart.