Don't End the Marriage, End the Rut

Published Date 7/20/2014
Under: Love, Relationships & Family



No rut lasts forever.

You've been married forever and you've developed a routine that feels suspiciously like a rut. Though you're probably tempted to think that you and your spouse have grown apart, don't start combing the phone book for divorce attorneys just yet. It makes more sense to fix the rut than to end the marriage, don't you think?


Go on a Second Honeymoon

One sure way to end the rut and inject some spice into your relationship is to indulge in a second honeymoon—or a first, if you didn't get one in the first place. Unplug from all your mobile devices and social media accounts. Don't answer the phone, leave your work at home, and try not to plan too many activities. Spend your time enjoying each other, and getting to know each other again. You'll remember why you're together in the first place.


Remember Why You Fell in Love

In fact, you need to remember why you fell in love to begin with. When you're just sitting around by yourself, that's hard. Time has a way of dulling even the sweetest memories. You should try talking to someone who isn't involved in your relationship in any way.


For example, talking to a love psychic about the early days of your relationship and the evolution of your marriage can make you remember things you've forgotten. Maybe your wife used to tell jokes that made you laugh for hours. Perhaps your husband used to send flowers for no reason. Remembering those things can improve your marriage in the present.


Go Somewhere Brand New

Experiencing new things together will keep your relationship exciting, but you might need something more long-term than a second honeymoon or even a vacation. Have you ever thought about moving? That may seem like an extreme choice, but if you're in a rut, you need to shake up everything. Pick up stakes and move to Seattle, Phoenix, or even Paris. Hit up the Caribbean or move to Japan. Do something that excites you.


Relive Your First Date

If you want to get out of a rut, you have to spend more time together. It's essential that you start dating each other again, because that will get you out of your work-home-dinner-TV-bed routine. You can flirt with each other again, and get romantic at the end of the evening.


However, while dates in general are important, you should start things off with a bang. Do you remember your first date? Then why not surprise your spouse by recreating it from start to finish? This time you can even incorporate details that are important to your relationship as it exists now.


Start Communicating More

If spending time together is important, then communicating is crucial. Ruts don't occur because of a lack of romance. They happen when you stop talking to each other. Not sure what to say? Another chat with your psychic, or even a love tarot reading, can give you some ideas. You should avoid mundane small talk, and focus on deeper, more meaningful topics. You can even discuss what you learned from your psychic! That's a definite conversation-starter.


Don't end the marriage you adore just because things are a little boring. You will be able to bring the good times back soon.


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