Dating in the Modern Cyber Age: Part II: Using I-Ching by Lotus Marie

Published Date 1/8/2014
Under: Love, Relationships & Family



Is texting really the best way to contact him?

As discussed in Dating in the Modern Cyber Age: Part I, the ancient art of the I-Ching (which uses hexagrams) can be related to the modern dating world. 

Hexagram 31 is associated with initial attraction and thus dating. Hexagram 53 is all about gradual change and is thus associated with marriage and/or long-term commitment. 

To go from one hexagram to another, one only needs to examine the changing lines associated with the shift. To change hexagram 31 (dating) to 53 (commitment) lines four and six hold the key. Line four states that all doors to the heart are open and to go forward… that this relationship has potential and to go for it! Line six states that too much talk can lead to problems. The combined wisdom of both lines urges two people to trust in their connection and go with it, but to be weary of over communication during the sensitive initial stages of getting to know one another. 

This priceless advice is deeply contrary to where we’re at today with communication advancements that demand immediacy. So what’s one to do?
In alignment with the Chinese reverence for simplicity, when in the initial dating phases, play it safe by not adding this person to your friends list unless a friendship was already established beforehand. If it’s unavoidable to do so, create clear boundaries by refraining from too many attention-seeking posts or from commenting on theirs. Try as much as possible to keep the mystery intact, because guess what: this is what the human mind finds attractive in the initial stages! 

This is hard to do, but it can and should be done if the desire is to make it to the next stage. Also, make it a rule to not text or email for the first three to six months of the relationship. Text and email only complicate things by setting the relationship up for failure through over communication and high expectation for an immediate reply. 

The best relationships are built on a foundation where a man feels that he’s able to pursue a woman and where a woman feels desirable enough to be pursued. If the tables turn too soon, this is when problems arise. Some may take this as anti-feminist, but just because a woman is most powerful in the role of receptivity, this does not mean that she is not powerful! In fact, the receiving role is the role that gets to choose. When women “get” this and wake up to their innate power, they’ll easily allow themselves to be captured by the man they desire. 

Allowance for this kind of flow is what’s missing today. But the aware individual can take back their power through conscious effort. When one plays the new modern game according to ancient truths, love will win!
Author's Photo By Lotus Marie x7607

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