5 Ways to Help Your Adult Child Without Giving Money

Published Date 10/7/2014
Under: Love, Relationships & Family



Sometimes loving your children means not giving in.

As a parent, you always want to do what's best for your kids, even when they become adults. The problem is that the way you helped them when they were younger can hurt them more when they're older. Instead of financing their adulthood, give them practical help that will teach them to help themselves, because that's invaluable.


Make Them Accountable

The best thing you can do for your adult children is to hold them accountable. There will come a time when your son or daughter comes to you worried about unexpected expenses, bemoaning emergency pitfalls, or crying about an inability to make rent. Although the temptation to reach for your wallet is great, resist it. Giving your child money is short-term help—and it's actually more of a hindrance.


When you pay for your child's mistakes, he or she comes to expect it. Soon you'll get phone calls every time he or she needs some quick cash. Your child will never learn to budget or act responsibly. Instead of forking over money, try to get to the root of the financial problems. If your child doesn't have money for rent because of some extravagant, unnecessary purchase or bad spending habits, he or she needs to recognize this problem and rectify it.


Get Them Psychic Help

If you want to get your grown child something truly invaluable, get them a live psychic reading. That's something worth paying for because a good reading will point out some fundamental truths. A reading can help your grown child realize why he or she's failing to meet goals, constantly going broke, or having trouble holding down a job or stable relationship. Recognizing the core issues is much more valuable than paying for the present predicament. This way history won't repeat itself.


Tell Them What You Went Through

Sharing stories about your young adult years is helpful as well. Nearly every young adult goes through iffy situations. You're often broke, you have to decide between paying for entertainment or paying the rent, you have to eat Ramen for a week or two. The truth is that you probably had it rougher than your kid, just as your parents probably had it rougher than you. Don't lecture, but share stories about how you came through this stage of life. Offer gentle advice without being preachy.


Provide Emotional Support

Your emotional support is much more important than any financial support anyway, because it lasts longer. Be there to soothe your child's fears and listen to any worries. Offer love, empathy, and a shoulder to cry on when it's needed.


Listen, Don't Finance

You have to worry about your own future, especially your retirement. Let your child know that, while sharing your willingness to support their endeavors—emotionally, not financially. It doesn't matter if your child is really, really serious this time; there comes a point when you have to stop financing your kid's life.


Listen to your child’s big ideas, hopes, and dreams, but don't offer money. If you have problems saying no, then you may want to talk to an online clairvoyant yourself; you can learn the right way to put your foot down.


Putting away your wallet doesn't mean you don't love your child. It simply means that you want to see the kid you raised so well succeed on his or her own merits.


 


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